Naturally, Oates was always the outside spoon.
It’s time once again to focus on irrefutable reasons why David Wright should grow a mustache. This time around, we focus on music. It’s a scientific fact that we are all shaped by the song that is #1 on the Billboard charts on the day we’re born. How else would you explain my awesomeness if not for this? So, naturally, I was not the least bit surprised to learn that the #1 song in America on December 20, 1982 was none other than “Maneater” by Hall & Oates.
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I do declare, I love tasting the herbs and spices in my whiskers.
In this installment of Wright Wreasons, we look to David’s roots for proof that he needs to grow a mustache. David is from Norfolk, Virginia and is, thus, from south of the Mason-Dixon Line. As such, David is a Southerner. And throughout history, true Southern gentlemen who achieved great levels of success were mustachioed.
This is in your genes, David. It’s your birthright to grow a mustache and take a hold of your destiny. Embrace your heritage and success will course through your veins like Sherman stormed through Atlanta. OK, maybe that was a bad analogy for Southerners.
I can see the skepticism on your faces. Well, I came prepared. I’ve done the research. I have the facts. Let’s take a look at some great Southern mustaches and the achievements in their respective fields.
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By simply putting that photo there, I struggled to get this sentence out. I triple clutched my finger before finally hitting the key. Just a reminder of what life is like for Mets without a stache. What a first week it’s been for The Wright Stache. We…
Not a bad start. I know that it may seem like I’ve done most of the posting over the last few days. That’s because Hairy Backman has been working hard at his real job in the steel mill and Jose’s Chin Pubes is in Texas taking the steak-eating challenge at every steakhouse south of Dallas-Ft. Worth. We’ll form Voltron next week.
We’ll be working through the weekend, so stop by while you nurse your hangover and watch whatever marathon MTV runs.
Stay tuned for some site improvements in the next week or so that will make commenting more pleasureable. And please do check back often and share The Wright Stache with your friends, family and casual encounters.
On the Mt. Rushmore of staches, Magnum is Washington.
Welcome to our new feature, Wright Wreasons. From time to time, we’ll use these posts to illustrate convincing reasons why it just makes sense for David Wright to grow a mustache. We can give you our opinions until we are Mets blue in the face, but these Wright Reasons make for a much stronger argument. Today’s Wright Wreason: High-rated TV mustaches of David Wright’s birth year, 1982.
David is a product of the 1980s, a TV-centric decade. All of us from the late 1970s and 1980s generations are reflections of the television shows from that era. Take me, for example. My father built me a robot sister and adopted several black children to live in our penthouse apartment while I was a teen-aged doctor.
So, let’s take a look at the top five Nielsen rated shows of the 1982/1983 television season and the mustaches that made them successful. Read more »
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April 8, 2009 9:30 am | 
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