Mets Sign Doc Gooden’s Nephew

Doc taught Gary everything he knew about scowling. Optional second caption: Just let your sooooouuuuul glooooooow.

Everyone and their mother are reporting that the Mets have signed Gary Sheffield to a pro-rated $400,000 contract.  He was released earlier this week by the Tigers who will relax their gag reflex and swallow the girth of his $14 million 2009 salary.  Along with the $400K, the Mets apparently have promised Sheff “significant playing time” (as reported on WFAN via Mets Merized Online).

Well, the Mets are about 10 years and five dozen temper tantrums too late on this one.  Sheffield wanted to be a Met years ago when he still viewed them as the team for whom his uncle, Dwight Gooden, played.  Now he’s just the guy who batted .225 with an OPS of .725 in 2008.  He’s injury and sulking prone, his skills are diminishing and he doesn’t have a mustache.  Frankly, we’re baffled.

This most likely signals the end of the glorious Marlon Anderson era and kills any interest that the team may have had in Frank Catalanotto, who would have been a major upgrade on the bench and a delight to have in the clubhouse.  Instead, we get Surly McGeriatric.

Here’s hoping he regains his bat speed, keeps his mouth shut and teaches David how to harness his testosterone into something productive.  Worst case scenario, he hits below the Mendoza line, we cut him with minimal financial loss and he teaches José how to rock a stellar jheri curl.