What’s Wrong With Ollie?

Upper lip hair = upper 90's fastball.

The MLB tonight crew takes a critical look at the mechanics of Oliver Perez and comes up with an interesting diagnosis in this video clip. While “no stache” isn’t one of the reasons given, we’ll just go out on a limb and assume that this critical fact was omitted because of how obvious it is. No stache = no concentration. Get on it, Ollie.

What Would Ollie Do?

Abe Lincoln is rolling over in his grave.

Well, there’s been no official word on what Jerry Manuel and Omar Minaya have planned for Oliver Perez.  They will skip his next scheduled start and possibly use him in relief this week, but no one is calling it a formal assignment to the bullpen.  Since management seems to be at a loss, why not let the best and the brightest decide Ollie’s fate.  So, what say you, Wright Stache readers?

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No Stache Ollie, No Mas Ollie

Oliver Perez likes facial hair.  But something’s missing.  Can you guess what?

Meanwhile, he’ll be plying his “trade” in the bullpen for now.

Déjà Vu is French for Oliver Perez

If Ollie sees his shadow, he'll have an ERA over 6.00.

This all looks so familiar.  After last night’s stark reminder that all bullpens, even rebuilt ones, can struggle, today gave us a friendly reminder that Oliver Perez is the most confounding thing to come out of Mexico since Carlos Mencia’s successful career.  Ollie started strong, but the wheels came off in the third inning and the rest of the car spontaneously combusted in the fifth.  His final line: 4.1 IP (ugh), 5 H (eh), 8 R (ruhroh), 5 BB (blargh) and 7 K (huzzah!).  And with that, the Mets were downed by the Red 8-6.

Once again, the heart of the order looked strong as the Carloses continued to be RBI machines.  David Wright had his first multi-hit game of 2009 and picked up an impressive fourth walk of the season.  And Ryan Church continued to show what he’s capable of when he’s not overly concussed by adding two hits, including a two RBI double.

The bullpen pitched 3.2 scoreless innings, so that’s a plus. Brian Stokes looked strong with three strikeouts in two innings of work. Meanwhile, Gary Sheffield had his first AB as a Met.  He struck out looking in the ninth.  For the record, he has a beard.

The Amazins head to Florida for three against the suddenly potent Marlins and we head to the bar for some Thursday night drunkiness without the guilt of missing a Mets game.

Metal Mike Piazza + Zakk Wylde’s Beardstache

Metal!

Personal acquaintances of your Wright Stache editors know quite well that Jose’s Chin Pubes is a big fan of everything heavy metal. In fact, yours truly even has a website devoted entirely to the love/hate of this fine musical genre (shameless plug!). But what you might not know is that Mike Piazza — he of numerous facial hair stylings (but that’s a topic for a future post) — is himself a big metal fan too.

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