Mustache is the New Eye Black

That's not eye black. They're cheekstaches.

Ah, Wikipedia.  I was hanging out with friend o’ the stache and frequent commenter The Other DAW and Mrs. Other DAW this evening.   As often happens, the conversation turned to Keith Hernandez.  Some wild accusations were made which I will not dignify with mentions in this here blog of record.  All that matters is that we ended up on the Wikipedia page of our patron saint.

While there, we stumbled on an interesting fun fact (Fun fact: I love fun facts).  In the miscellany section, you’ll find this:

Hernandez admitted that he never wore eyeblack while playing because he had high cheekbones. Hernandez felt his mustache reduced glare thereby eliminating the need for eyeblack.

The source cited is the Athlon Sports 2008 Baseball Annual.  Now, you can’t argue that Keith doesn’t have high cheekbones.  He has rugged features and his cheekbones are part of that macho handsomeness.  What’s worth considering, however, is his theory that mustaches reduce glare.

If that’s the case (and I have no reason to doubt Keith even if the photo above proves either him or Athlon Sports to be a liar), then David needs to grow a stache to handle the sun.  There’s a long, bright summer ahead and the winds in Flushing make things adventurous enough on pop-ups without having to battle the glare.

Grow a stache, David.  Keith was an amazing fielder (11 straight Gold Gloves from 1978 to 1988).  If the stache helped him, it can help you.

It’s not about aesthetics.  It’s about athletics.