David’s been growing a mighty fine beard of late… well, “beard” might be generous… but “nicely kempt scruff” is perfectly appropriate. It doesn’t quite have the majesty of a ’stache, but we’ll take what we can get here at Wright Stache HQ. Any kind of facial hair for David is a win in our book; perhaps he can convince his teammates to jump on board as well, and perhaps one day David will graduate to the distinctive whiskers of a ’stache. If anything, this proves that his “I don’t even think I could grow one” claim last year is bunk.
Well, fortunately, you no longer have to wait to get your David Wright back! Thanks to modern technology, for a limited time only, you can have your very own All Star 3rd baseman back in the lineup of your choice. I’m talking the 21st century! I’m talking super space age technology! I’m talking about the Rawlings S100!
Teammates may laugh. But opponents won’t be laughing once they witness the might of Dark Helmet.
Of course, being an All Star and all, David gets his custom-made, with all sorts of extra winning features. Like a mustache. Herein, exclusive to our Wright Stache wreaders, is a sneak peak at the helmet David Wright will sport for the rest of the season.
Fortunately, with David, the tongue sticking out is a good sign (Image courtesy of NY Daily News)
Able, you probably already know this, but your brother is a douchebag.
What happened? During last night’s 5-4 extra-inning fall to the Giants (not those Giants), San Fran starter Matt Cain beaned David Wright in the head with a 94-mph fastball. The helmet went flying off. David was on his back for over a minute. I said some choice words about Matt Cain. But nobody really thought he threw at David on purpose.
Is he all-Wright? Yes. David spent the night in the hospital with a concussion. Plus, there’s this good news from Francoeur (from AP reporter Howie Rumberg):
Longtime Mets fans like Mario Mario of Brooklyn think the Mets just need a spark to get back in the hunt
With the Amazins in the tank and the Wrightstachians on the road, the Wright Stache has been quiet. Too quiet.
Well not that quiet. We’ve been at Citi Field, spreading the message, meeting fans of the stache, and getting their perspective on what’s wrong with the Mets this year (aside from, you know, the obvious listlessness, winlessness, healthlessness, and stachelessness).
Our thoughts on the subject have been shared ad infinitem, which is a fancy Latin way of saying “a whole bunch.” So we thought it was high time we got some input from the other fans out there — the hardworking Mets partisans who expect to come home from a long day of plumbing, or stomping on monster heads, and relax to a well-played game of baseball, preferably one in which the Mets whup the ever-livin’ koopa droppings out of the Phillies.
Herein follows a candid interview with one longtime Mets fan, Mario Mario, a plumber from Bensonhurst, and proud Mustached American. (Press ‘B’ to jump)
Girlfriend O’ The Stache Emily and I had quite the fun outing at Citi Field last night; K-Rod made it interesting at the end, but it was an all-around clean win for the Mets who edged the Dodgers 5-4. D-Wright had two key hits (still no mustache), and we sold a bunch of Wright Stache t-shirts after the game by the subway entrance, our sales no doubt helped by the Mets’ win and Wright’s strong day. We even took some funny photos on the subway with some newly-converted Wright Stachians (more on this later).
But the night belonged to 1B Daniel Murphy with his unbelievable behind-the-back toss to Brian Parnell to nail a runner in a bang-bang play at 1st base. Citi was going nuts; the dudes at OhMurph.com must’ve been ecstatic! Here it is:
Wow. Only play I can remember with that kind of acrobatic work in recent Mets history was our own D-Wright’s bare-handed grab going into left field a few years back. Amazing play!
…is always hanging out of his mouth. Why? We have no idea. But when we saw the recent shot of him licking a baseball batin Newsday earlier this week, we had to bring it to our readers’ attention. Here are some choice shots of David licking his lips and other things. The bat pic is on the bottom:
Frank Selee's mustache was the first to suggest putting Tinkers, Evers, and Chance in the same infield
TheWrightStache.com has already established the link between mustaches and leadership. But while every manager instinctively understands how motivational posters a lip sweater can contribute to productivity, it’s hard to quantify that.
Well, fortunately for us, in baseball you can quantify everything, including mustached leadership.
Unlike a mustache on David Wright, There is no promise of championships for any manager who grows a mustache. As managerial great Sparky Anderson once said (to paraphrase) “Mangers don’t win or lose ballgames. Ballgames are decided in three places: on the field, at the plate, and above David Wright’s lip.”
Can greater facial growth on MLB’s current managers contribute to leadership skills, or will the burden of proper grooming prove too much for the mustached few? Find out, after the call to the bullpen…
Yesterday we reported on Clay Zavada’s glorious lip-sweater that should serve as an inspiration to a certain clean-shaven third baseman in Queens. Apparently ESPN took notice too, as they interviewed Friend O’ The Stache and Chairman of the American Mustache Institute Dr. Aaron Perlut about Zavada’s stache and the role of the cookie-duster in baseball, past and present. Dr. Perlut throws around some fantastic ’stache lingo (“flavor-saving instrument of justice” [!]) and even provides a statistical analysis of Rick Ankiel’s stache experiment of which The Wright Stache Statistics Department (TWSSD for short) highly approves. Watch the whole interview clip from ESPN below.
This was the question inexpertly tossed around* by that daffy broadcasting duo Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips, while the Amazins balked and bases-loaded GIDP-ed their way to a 2-0 losing conclusion to an otherwise successful 4-day vacation in San Fran.
The context was a re-hashing of the pre-winning-streak brouhaha over comments by Omar Minaya that suggested the Mets needed more of an edge.
“Some people see edge as leadership. Sometimes, you need a little meanness to your game. Some people perceive leadership as meanness.
“I couldn’t tell you that we have that type of guy. We have leaders. But everyone’s perception of leadership is different.”
Well, as everyone** knows, when a GM calls his team out for not having a leader, the first guy to respond gets the gig. Since then, David Wright has let his bat do most of the talking, and now everything is hunky dory. But he did at least offer the following to the New York Daily News:
“The definition of edge is going out there and getting a few wins, and then all of a sudden you don’t have to worry about anyone talking about edge anymore”
Well, they’ve got a few wins. But do the Mets have a true leader? What makes such a leader? And most importantly could Steve Phillips be any more of a horse’s patoot what is that that sixth tool*** that separates the leaders from the lineup fodder? To answer this, when we say “Jump” the Wright Stache will consult the acknowledged leader in defining leadership:
David’s 4 stolen bases against the Giants on Thursday night tied a club record set by Vince Coleman twice and matched by Roger Cedeno in 1999. But even more impressive is the following record, dug up by (who else?) The Elias Sports Bureau and reported by The New York Times:
David Wright is the first player since 1920 to have at least nine hits, nine runs batted in and five stolen bases over a three-game span, according to the Elias Sports Bureau.
HotFootBlog.com reports a week’s worth of stats that are even more astounding:
For the week between May 11 – May 17, David Wright’s been hitting a red hot .556, with 3 doubles, a triple, 9 RBI, and a 1.366 OPS.
The very definition of “hot.” He’s been doing it in the clucth, to boot. That 10pm-1am shadow must be the key. It must be.
The friends o’ the Stache and ardent Mets supporters at OhMurph.com — a site we profiled here last week devoted to renaming the fans in the left field stands Murphaholics — sent us a challenge we couldn’t refuse: draw up some images of Daniel Murphy with a mustache. Photoshop expert and ’stache extraordinaire Misopogon got right on the task, and came up with some very studly images of what one New York Mets left fielder would look like with some upper-lip hair. The “promo shot” style stachepic at right is worthy of scoreboard display at Shea, while two additional Murphy stachepics — after the jump — show the Murph in action!
From Ryan Church’s first at bat, Gary and Keith were talking about how several of the Mets, including Carlos Beltran, were sporting a bit of stubble last night in Atlanta. Maybe it was because the flight delays that led to 12 hours of travel from Philadelphia to Atlanta. Maybe it was in response to the cold, wet weather that blanketed the East Coast. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because the Mets needed some edge and they follow The Wright Stache on Twitter.
No matter the reason, the Amazins looked like confident men instead of confused boys last night. Beltran continued to lead the universe in hitting and added two home runs. Jose Reyes swiped two bases. And, of course, David Wright hit a home run and a double while showing signs of breaking out of his April slump.
Keep the razors packed up, fellas. The stubble looks good. And it plays even better.
Ed. Note: Those last three sentences are the most homoerotic paragraph ever printed on this site.
Without the mustache, Ted Nugent is pretty vanilla.
Over the weekend, there was much talk and consternation over Omar Minaya’s comments that the Mets lacked “edge.” In fact, he said that the team’s lack of edge is why he brought in Alex Cora and Gary Sheffield. That was Omar’s response to how smooth the Mets are (smooth is the opposite of edgy, right?). Seems to me, though, that there is an easier (and cheaper) way to gain an edge. Mustaches.
I don’t know much about Alex Cora, other than he’s 33 and looks 12. Not exactly edgy. As for Sheff, well, that dude wasn’t born edgy. He had an edgy mentor.
But at the end of the day, nothing adds edge like smoking cigarettes a mustache. Now more than ever the Mets need David Wright to grow a mustache. He’s the captain. He’s the leader. He can be the edge.
If not David, I know a certain someone who looked pretty edgy with a stache (and there may just be a spot in the rotation available).
Thought us WrightStachians were the only ones with a cause-based website devoted to a single Met? Not so. OhMurph.com is new website devoted solely to renaming Citi’s left field fans “Murphaholics.” While it’d be easy to take a cheap shot at Daniel Murphy and point out that “Oh Murph!” is what I find myself saying on cue with each daily Murph fielding gaffe (oh snap, I just did!), I actually quite like the guy and hope he can sort out his current problems. Though he reminds me of Todd Hundley in left field circa 1998, he’s got quite the bat and a bright future ahead of him. And if there’s anything that Mets fans love, it’s home-grown talent.
So whaddya say we help out our fellow Mets fans on their mission? Head on over to OhMurph.com, follow them on Twitter, and buy some Murphandise to support the cause. Together we will make Murphaholics and Mustachioed Mets reign supreme at Citi Field in 2009.
He may be slumping. He may be bald. But David Wright is not going hungry. Foley’s New York, a baseball-centric pub in Midtown has introduced The David Wright Sandwich. The sandwich boasts grilled chicken in Buffalo sauce, blue cheese, lettuce and tomato on a club roll.
David’s not from Buffalo. I’m not quite sure why this sandwich is The David Wright Sandwich, but hey, it’s always been a dream of mine to have a sandwich named after me, so color me jealous. And, Foley’s will donate $2 to David charitable foundation for every David Wright Sandwich that they sell.
I’m sure it’s a delicious and overpriced sandwich. I’m just hoping that, if David ever cooks one up himself, he’ll need to wear one of these.
With his average plummeting to well below .300 and his strikeouts leading the known universe, David Wright took drastic measures to break out of his slump. He knew that success is directly related to hair, so he decided to take immediate follicle action. Sadly (for us), he was a little misguided in his quest to improve his performance. Rather than beginning to grow a stache, David buzzed his head.
Now, I am a strong advocate of a buzzed head. Sport it myself. I make it look good. But I’m not going 30/30 anytime soon. And neither will David if he doesn’t start thinking about adding hair rather than removing it.
We appreciate his motives. We respect his willingness to shake things up aesthetically to get out of these doldrums. But, David, come on! Naked lips don’t win championships! It rhymes for a reason.
Talented friend o’ the stache Mike Yacullo is the brains behind Planet of the Geeks. You’ve probably read about our love affair with his Lego Keiths both retro and modern. Well, because he’s awesome, Mike gave us a Lego David Wright…with a mustache! Now we can see what David truly would look like if he wisened up and let his true nature show.
From where we stand, David looks pretty dashing with that lip hair. Mature, confident and clearly superior to other Legos. Seeing our goal realized in Lego form is a dream come true. As I type this, tears of joy are streaming down my face. Though, that may just be my reaction to the high pollen count.
Thanks, Mike! You can check all three of his Lego Wrightstache pictures by clicking the thumbnails below. And be sure to check out Planet of the Geeks to see all of Mike’s amazing handiwork.