If a Third Baseman Grows a Stache in Detroit…

Look closely and you can see the beginnings of an AL Pennant

We have news: an All-Star 3rd baseman has begun growing a mustache.

No, it is not David Wright. But it’s the next best thing…

Brandon Inge. Roar of the Tigers:

CONFIRMED: Brandon Inge is, in fact, growing a mustache. It is, in fact, terrible. Before today’s game he claimed that it was a Rally Mustache, an attempt to change the luck of the Tigers. Will it help his bat? Will it help the bats of other Cats? Brandon Inge does not know. He hopes it will help him, but if it helps someone else– if they manage to hit better “due to [his] ugliness,” as he said in the pregame interview– the Rally ’stache will have served its purpose.

Did I not tell you the Tigers and a Mets share a metaphysical link? I mean, the Tigers win in ‘68, the Mets win in ‘69. The Tigers win in ‘84, the Mets win in ‘86. And Howard Johnson was on both of those teams!

And now the Tigers head to Boston with a STACHE ON THEIR 3rd BASEMAN!

This is how it begins, folks. I will be at Fenway tonight. I will capture this Ingeian stache. I will show you non-believers how winning and mustaches on All-Star third basemen are connected. I WILL SHOW YOU ALL!!!

…Misopogon, running off into the abyss…and giggling.

Update: Back from Boston — it looks like he kept it. But the Tigers dropped two to the Red Sox. On the other hand, they’ve been battling, and gave themselves a chance to win two games they had no business winning. So I’d say the stache is working.

The seed has been planted, and there’s a chance the Tigers may stache up afterall. A whole team of mustaches? We will definitely be keeping an eye on this.