Subway Stache

At last week’s Stache outing in which the Mets bested the Dodgers (yeah, they actually beat someone), we made a new friend on the subway on the way home from the game. Upon entering the 7 “Super Express” train waiting at the station (side note: how did it take them 40-some-odd years to think of this? brilliant.), a fine young lady sat on the seat bench with a classic stache-and-nose set of play glasses. High-fives and introductions were exchanged, and Girlfriend O’ The Stache Emily snapped these excellent photos. Thanks to Sydney C. for being a a great sport! Needless to say, now we have another supporter of David growing a ‘Stache. The other people on the train were a bit put off by the commotion, but whatevs.

More pics after the jump!

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Homerun Derby: Lo Duca-Stache

"This stache entitles me to have as many mistresses as I want, free of tabloid attention."

Today is the homerun derby, otherwise known as the kinda interesting event that happens the day before that collosal waste of time also known as the All-Star Game. When thinking of homerun derbies I’ll always think about our own D-Wright’s marvelous performance in the 2006 event, in which our hero put up a sparkling performance in Round 1 only to eventually be bested by 1 total homerun by Phillies slugger Ryan Howard. The pitcher tossing D-Wright those juicy, Italian meatballs? None other than Paul Lo Duca, a man whose fiery attitude and fiery mustache we know all too well.

Lo Duca, pictured at right in his much stachier Dodgers days, had one helluva stache — even when he shaved he had a sort of built in, 5 o’clock Guido shadow. I call BS on those who heralded Lo Duca’s arrival to the Mets as a “homecoming” — the guy only lived in Brooklyn from ages 0-2, for chrissakes — but the guy had heart and attitude, something the 2009 club sorely lacks. His fierce competitor’s spirit was no doubt due to his man-whiskers; perhaps David could learn a thing or two from the man who helped propel him to national glory on that fateful night in 2006!

Better Know a Metstache: Frank Viola

"Yeaaahhhh baby."

Frank Viola’s mustache was like his pitching style; subtle and full of finesse. A native Long Islander, Viola was welcomed with arms wide open by Mets fans anxious to recapture the glory of the ‘86 and ‘88 seasons.

Viola came to the Mets at the 1989 trading deadline after the Minnesota Twins, his long-time team which he’d led to a World Series Championship just two years earlier, soured on his request for more money. The Mets gave up fan-favorite Rick Aguilera as well as David West and Kevin Tapani, a trade that made sense at the time to acquire a front-line starter like Viola but ended up backfiring in the longterm. Viola’s first full season with the Mets ended up being his only good one; Viola was 20-12 that year with a 2.67 ERA in 35 starts, including 3 shutouts and a league-leading 249.2 innings. Frankie V started out strong in ‘91, but nagging injuries contributed to a 2-11 record down the stretch.

The Mets let Viola go to free agency after the 1991 season. He’d play two full seasons in Boston before undergoing Tommy John surgery and finishing his career with the Reds and the Blue Jays. Lifetime he went 176-150 with a 3.73 ERA, compiling 2836 innings, 1844 strikeouts, 16 shut outs and 74 complete games. His son is currently in the White Sox organization.

And now you better know a Metstache.

Murph’s Behind-the-Back Toss

Girlfriend O’ The Stache Emily and I had quite the fun outing at Citi Field last night; K-Rod made it interesting at the end, but it was an all-around clean win for the Mets who edged the Dodgers 5-4. D-Wright had two key hits (still no mustache), and we sold a bunch of Wright Stache t-shirts after the game by the subway entrance, our sales no doubt helped by the Mets’ win and Wright’s strong day. We even took some funny photos on the subway with some newly-converted Wright Stachians (more on this later).

But the night belonged to 1B Daniel Murphy with his unbelievable behind-the-back toss to Brian Parnell to nail a runner in a bang-bang play at 1st base. Citi was going nuts; the dudes at OhMurph.com must’ve been ecstatic! Here it is:

Wow. Only play I can remember with that kind of acrobatic work in recent Mets history was our own D-Wright’s bare-handed grab going into left field a few years back. Amazing play!

Better When Unfettered

It's the 4th of July, yet still no stache, "why?"

It’s been a rough Independence for our as-yet-stacheless Wright, who went 0-11 against the Phillies over the weekend, as the NL East rivals’ pitchers “hampered,” and “hamstrung,” “put the clamps down on,” and essentially “tied up” our hero. He wasn’t flustered, it seems, so much as fettered.

tr.v. fet·tered, fet·ter·ing, fet·ters

2. To restrict the freedom of.

A bit ago I posted a link on this blog about NYC and the Yankees, who were in a bit of trouble over supposedly harassing fans who chose not to stand and sing “God Smite the Red Sox Bless America” in the 7th Inning.

That case has been settled, though only the city, and not the Yankees organization, was found liable. The problem was that nobody could prove the Yankees had a policy of intimidating and harassing non-conformists (and B&T’s — how they hate B&T’s) who skipped their redundant moment of patriotism. In fact, the biggest thing the Yankees were possibly guilty of, it seems, was “fettering:”

[F]ans may not always have felt completely unfettered. Ushers used handheld chains to block off some exits while it was played at the Yankees’ old stadium, although chief operating officer Lonn Trost has said they were instructed to let through spectators with emergencies.

I don’t see how such fettering can be considered acceptable. If fans are not feeling unfettered, then they are in fetters, and we were born into a country — a country we sing to at least once every baseball game — where being unfettered is a born-in right. It says right there in the Constitution, Article I Say So:

Don’t fetter.

(stay tuned, I’ll find a way to related this to D-Wright and his stache)¹

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David, Grow It.

With mustache, you're looking at the face of a future Hall of Famer.

After scoring a measly 1 run en route to a victory behind Big Pelf yesterday, the Mets appear likely to squander yet another one in agonizing fashion this afternoon in Pittsburgh. As I type this, F-Rod just blew a save and it’s tied 8-8 in the top of 10th.

David, come on dude. WTF??? Grow it already. You know you want to. You know you NEED to. Do it!

This team needs a little sass, and it needs you to grow a Mustache. Be that guy.

Happy 4th of July weekend, everyone.

[UPDATE: The Mets win! Thaaaaaaa Mets win! F U John Sterling.]

OhMurph.com Hilarity and Live Chat

"Go ahead, stroke it!"

At some point over the past couple of weeks our friends over at OhMurph.com have morphed their site from a Daniel Murphy-driven campaign to a sardonic Mets version of The Onion; and it’s hilarious! Check out new articles about Prince Fielder being a fat-ass, Kevin Burkhardt’s former life as a Scandinavian prince, and Fernando Martinez’s — or “F-Mart,” as the kids are calling him — battle with acne. They’re also giving away a signed 8×10 of a young, sexy — and bearded — HoJo.

Today Big Pelf takes the hill in a 2pm game for the Mets, as he tries to stop the bleeding hemmorhaging and prevent the Mets from losing their 6th straight game for their 2nd straight series sweep. OhMurph.com has a live webchat that’ll last through the game. This afternoon I chose not to subject myself to more torture… I think.

The 2009 Mets Could Use Some Mojo Risin’

The famous "Grand-Slam Single" homerun trot.

Who could forget the spectacular 1999 Mets of ten years ago — those Mets of Sports Illustrated “Best Infield Ever” cover fame — with their triumphant playoff run and never-quit comeback attitude. That Mets lineup was stacked with hitters and runners and could never be counted out down late in a game, the seeming antithesis of this heartless 2009 team. Better days.

With the 2009 squad decimated by injury and seemingly down on their spirits (not to mention the fans’), the team could use to take a page from the book of the 1999 club. Inspired by the lyric from The Doors song “L.A. Woman,” Robin Ventura, a clubhouse leader if ever there was one, entered the clubhouse one day with t-shirts for the entire team that said “Mojo Risin’” in big, block letters. The phrase became a rallying cry for the team, displayed on the old Sharp jumbotron at Shea accompanied by The Doors tune when the Amazins needed some late-inning magic. The fans loved it, and for all that is holy in this world it did seem to inspire the team.

The 2009 Mets need some Mojo. And they need it to rise. BADLY. The ‘99 team had such fireplugs as Ventura, Rickey Henderson, Roger Cedeno, Mike Piazza and more. The 2009 Mets of June 30th have… Alex Cora. But they could also have mustaches. Think about it. How awesome would it be if the team uniformly started sporting lip-sweaters? It’d be absolutely magical, that’s what. Come on guys, get it together. And David, you’re the unnofficial captain, so lead the way.

Better Know a Metstache: Bernard Gilkey

"These snow-white uniforms look great with this jet black stache!"

Bernard Gilkey might not be one of the most famous Mets, but for any new Yorkers who lived through the awful Mets doldrums known as the mid-’90s the name should evoke a smile.

After being acquired prior to the 1996 season from the Cardinals in exchange for future superstars Erik Hiljus, Eric Ludwick and Yudith Orozio (who?), Gilkey put up one of the most impressive offensive seasons in all of Mets history. At the time his excellent stats may been overshadowed by Lance Johnson’s team records for hits and triples and Todd Hundley’s team record for homeruns — both also coming in 1996 — but his numbers are undeniable. According to AmazinAvenue.com, Gilkey’s 1996 season ranks near the top in a slew of offensive categories: 8th in OPS, 6th in runs, 10th in hits, 2nd in total bases, 1st in doubles, 3rd in RBI, 8th in OPS+, 2nd in runs created, 3rd in extra-base hits, and 10th in times on base. Gilkey batted .317 with a slugging percentage of .562, the latter of which was good for 7th on the all-time Mets list.

Gilkey was also known for his sense of fashion, shown above sporting the new-look snow-white Mets jerseys debuted in 1997, and with a wicked ’stache no doubt responsible for his epic 1996 season.

Unfortunately the odds caught up with Gilkey, and he fell back to earth in 1997 and 1998 while posting .249 and .233 batting averages, respectively. The Mets shipped him to Arizona at the trade deadline in 1998 along with Nelson Figueroa (who would return to the team 10 years later) in exchange for Willie Blair, Jorge Fabregas and cash. Bernard, it was fun while it lasted!

And now you Better Know A Metstache.

Fu Manchu David

Why not? Kinda greasy and sleezy. I like it.

George Brett Poos His Pants

This has nothing to do with David Wright or mustaches… I’m not even sure it’s real. But holy hell is it funny. George Brett has a story to tell and just can’t hold himself back, despite the visible disinterest of his teammates. Enjoy.

Who’s the pitchers in this game?

Weekend Whiskers from the Blogosphere

With Misopogal departing for Israel from JFK, the Misopogon took this opportunity to leave the Great Lakes State and  come see how things were stachin’ in the city. Meanwhile, the blogosphere blow’d up. This week in blogging, with bullets:

What do fashion bloggers wear on weekends? Wrightstache t-shirts!

• Sunday T-shirt spotting: the trendy Brooklynite at right knows clothes; by day she works for a fashion magazine, by night she’s the proprietress of The Haute Fuzz. And on Sundays, she can be seen strutting the balconies of the Jackie Robinson Rotunda, demonstrating this season’s classiest New York wear. The Fuzz also had a fashion tip for Wrightstache readers (lifted from Facebook):
  

  “too bad you don’t have giant stache stickers we can go stick on the back of everyone else’s shirts… that other ‘5′ looks so sad and naked”

  This is an idea not yet considered: if David were to wear a Wrightstache t-shirt, or even put a mustache over his number, would that have the same effect as real barbs over his lip? We’re guessing, no, but we’re willing to see it attempted.

Want more bloggy bullet goodness? You’ll have to give us a click-through first:

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Win Rollie Fingers’ New Book!

Future New York Times Best Seller

Your mission: Photoshop together your best picture of David Wright sporting a Rollie Fingers-esque mustache. Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, send it in an email to contact [at] thewrightstache [dot] com (formatted like an actual email address of course…we wrote it that way to deter pesky spammers). We’ll post the best entries here on the site and let our fans pick the winner – who we’ll promptly mail the book to. We’ll accept entries up until Monday, June 29th.

Good luck and may the best stache win!

Long Island Wants to Secede from New York

With all due respect to my good friends from Long Island (including Mr. Hairy Backman and Mr. Teuffel Stubble, as well as my mom and like, everyone ever) this is some of Jon Stewart’s best work to date. The fact that Long Island wants to secede from New York is funny enough, but The Daily Show takes it to the next level.

How To Trim a Mustache

Whilst bemoaning the awfully embarrassing disaster otherwise known as “this past weekend,” I resorted to a usual past-time of mine since the American one is letting me down as of late: trawling YouTube for mustache-related videos.

If David’s worried about the potentially time-intensive upkeep of a well-groomed mustache, we’d like to offer this video to him as proof that maintaining your mustache is as easy as catching an infield pop-up boiling water. It’s all about the wink at the end!

Stache’ Shirt Spotting at Mets Victory Over Phils

"Maybe this shirt will help me get a beer faster."

Speaking of Wright Stache t-shirts, Friend O’ the Stache and OhMurph.com proprietor Craig Kesten spotted someone (pictured, right — apologies for crappy cell phone photo quality) wearing one at yesterday’s riveting 6-5 win over the Phils. Whoever you are, thanks for the support, dude!

D-Wright went 2-4 with a homerun last night, only his fourth dinger of the season — perhaps an upper-lip flavor savor would help those power numbers Jerry is calling for?

The Wright Stache T-Shirt = Good Karma?

Every sports fan has, at one time or another, blamed themselves for a loss by the favorite team. “The Mets lost because I went to the bathroom” or “I sneezed and the Mets blew the lead,” are common phrases in New York this time of year. We all like to think that we have some mystical connection with our favorite teams. Hell, the Mets lost the last six games I attended, so maybe I’m bad luck!

But one loyal Mets fan and Wright Stache reader is so worried about her bad mojo that she’s scared to purchase an official The Wright Stache t-shirt for fear that it will cause David Wright to get hurt! She wrote to us seeking our input before buying this fine piece of apparel (that we recommend you all purchase).

We at The Wright Stache believe that our positive energy, stache-powered karma and cosmic spirit can break any curse. In fact, we believe that purchasing a Wright Stache t-shirt is just the thing that every Mets fan needs to do to inspire David to grow a stache and lead the Mets to the World Series. But we decided to let you all weigh in on the matter. After the jump is the letter we received and a poll that demands your attention.

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The Wright Stache on Mets Weekly

The Wright Stache on Mets Weekly from The Wright Stache on Vimeo.

A few weeks ago, the good folks at Mets Weekly saw fit to feature your favorite mustache aficionados on SNY’s magazine series.  We convened at the Mets Clubhouse Shop at Bryant Park to discuss the site, the Mets and, of course, mustaches.  In case you missed it when it aired, here, in all it’s glory, is The Wright Stache on Mets Weekly.

Special thanks to Max Siegal and the Tupelo Honey Productions team for making the magic happen.

Rollie Fingers Chats with The Wright Stache

Sponsored by Pinaud Mustache Wax

Legendary Hall of Fame relief pitcher Rollie Fingers recently came out with a new book entitled Rollie’s Follies: A Hall of Fame Revue of Lists and Lore, Stories and Stats from Baseball’s Most Famous Moustache. The book is, like the title says, a collection of some of Rollie’s favorite stories and statistics that he learned of or experienced during his famed 17 year career in baseball. Besides being one of the greatest relief pitchers to ever play the game, Rollie easily solidified himself as having one of the greatest, if not the greatest mustache in baseball history. He kindly spoke with The Wright Stache’s very own Teufel Stubble about the new book, baseball, and of course…mustaches. Check out the conversation below:

TWS: Maybe we’ll start out talking about the book a bit.  The book has a lot of anecdotes, the lighter side of baseball, players joking around and things like that.  Do you have one favorite story from the book?

RF: Probably the one about striking out Johnny Bench in the World Series on the fake pitchout.  Even today people come up to me and ask me “were you the guy pitching on the mound when Bench was hitting and you struck him out on the fake pitchout”.  That story is in the book.  Johnny and I are real good friends.  I never bring it up to him unless he brings it up first.
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Stache Outing: 5/31/09

The Wright Stache crew had another successful outing at Citi Field on the fine afternoon of May 31st; JCP and Girlfriend O’ The Stache Emily headed out early to hawk shirts (order yours here!) in the parking lot (formerly Shea, R.I.P.) to much success: we had six Wright Stache converts, and two more after the game! Excuse the shoddy image quality and “proof” verbiage; we thank the Mets’ fine “Amazin’ Fan Photos” photographers for their generosity, but we ain’t payin’ no $15 for a print.

JCP hawking his wares:

Get yer' Wright Stache t-shirt heeeeeere!

More Stache photos after the jump…

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