MLB.com, as is its wont,* is allowing fans to vote on their All-Time Nine for each team.
Rules are you pick one season from each guy at each position, and then imagine they were all on the same Mets team at the same time having that season.
And then you imagine you had season tickets that year and got to watch ‘99 Rickey Henderson lead off followed by 2006 Reyes, and then 2007 Wright would hit a double to score two, and then 2000 Piazza would step up to the plate, and they had to pitch to him because ‘98 Olerud and ‘86 Keith Hernandez were due up, and 2000 Piazza would wink at you and you would know deep down that he loved y….. Read more »
Who could forget the spectacular 1999 Mets of ten years ago — those Mets of Sports Illustrated “Best Infield Ever” cover fame — with their triumphant playoff run and never-quit comeback attitude. That Mets lineup was stacked with hitters and runners and could never be counted out down late in a game, the seeming antithesis of this heartless 2009 team. Better days.
With the 2009 squad decimated by injury and seemingly down on their spirits (not to mention the fans’), the team could use to take a page from the book of the 1999 club. Inspired by the lyric from The Doors song “L.A. Woman,” Robin Ventura, a clubhouse leader if ever there was one, entered the clubhouse one day with t-shirts for the entire team that said “Mojo Risin’” in big, block letters. The phrase became a rallying cry for the team, displayed on the old Sharp jumbotron at Shea accompanied by The Doors tune when the Amazins needed some late-inning magic. The fans loved it, and for all that is holy in this world it did seem to inspire the team.
The 2009 Mets need some Mojo. And they need it to rise. BADLY. The ‘99 team had such fireplugs as Ventura, Rickey Henderson, Roger Cedeno, Mike Piazza and more. The 2009 Mets of June 30th have… Alex Cora. But they could also have mustaches. Think about it. How awesome would it be if the team uniformly started sporting lip-sweaters? It’d be absolutely magical, that’s what. Come on guys, get it together. And David, you’re the unnofficial captain, so lead the way.
Whilst bemoaning the awfully embarrassing disaster otherwise known as “this past weekend,” I resorted to a usual past-time of mine since the American one is letting me down as of late: trawling YouTube for mustache-related videos.
If David’s worried about the potentially time-intensive upkeep of a well-groomed mustache, we’d like to offer this video to him as proof that maintaining your mustache is as easy as catching an infield pop-up boiling water. It’s all about the wink at the end!
A few weeks ago, the good folks at Mets Weekly saw fit to feature your favorite mustache aficionados on SNY’s magazine series. We convened at the Mets Clubhouse Shop at Bryant Park to discuss the site, the Mets and, of course, mustaches. In case you missed it when it aired, here, in all it’s glory, is The Wright Stache on Mets Weekly.
Special thanks to Max Siegal and the Tupelo Honey Productions team for making the magic happen.
Frank Selee's mustache was the first to suggest putting Tinkers, Evers, and Chance in the same infield
TheWrightStache.com has already established the link between mustaches and leadership. But while every manager instinctively understands how motivational posters a lip sweater can contribute to productivity, it’s hard to quantify that.
Well, fortunately for us, in baseball you can quantify everything, including mustached leadership.
Unlike a mustache on David Wright, There is no promise of championships for any manager who grows a mustache. As managerial great Sparky Anderson once said (to paraphrase) “Mangers don’t win or lose ballgames. Ballgames are decided in three places: on the field, at the plate, and above David Wright’s lip.”
Can greater facial growth on MLB’s current managers contribute to leadership skills, or will the burden of proper grooming prove too much for the mustached few? Find out, after the call to the bullpen…
Currently, our mission stands thus: we believe that David Wright should grow a mustache. We know for a fact that this alone could bring the Mets a World Championship. David knows this. He has said he would if he could. We have said that he can.
But that’s alright, we’ll worry about that later.
Since this is a free country (except, perhaps, when you’re at a Yankee game), we cannot force our hero to grow a hero bar. The Metstache may choose you, but you must also choose your Metstache. We respect that. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do, man.
This was the question inexpertly tossed around* by that daffy broadcasting duo Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips, while the Amazins balked and bases-loaded GIDP-ed their way to a 2-0 losing conclusion to an otherwise successful 4-day vacation in San Fran.
The context was a re-hashing of the pre-winning-streak brouhaha over comments by Omar Minaya that suggested the Mets needed more of an edge.
“Some people see edge as leadership. Sometimes, you need a little meanness to your game. Some people perceive leadership as meanness.
“I couldn’t tell you that we have that type of guy. We have leaders. But everyone’s perception of leadership is different.”
Well, as everyone** knows, when a GM calls his team out for not having a leader, the first guy to respond gets the gig. Since then, David Wright has let his bat do most of the talking, and now everything is hunky dory. But he did at least offer the following to the New York Daily News:
“The definition of edge is going out there and getting a few wins, and then all of a sudden you don’t have to worry about anyone talking about edge anymore”
Well, they’ve got a few wins. But do the Mets have a true leader? What makes such a leader? And most importantly could Steve Phillips be any more of a horse’s patoot what is that that sixth tool*** that separates the leaders from the lineup fodder? To answer this, when we say “Jump” the Wright Stache will consult the acknowledged leader in defining leadership:
It didn’t make any sense. They couldn’t possibly be talking about the same guy — the five-tool fella that Mets fans remember for his friendly fan interaction (and fly ball non-interaction)!
Could it be our erstwhile young Lastings is already grown up and worthy of an All Star ticket?
With his average plummeting to well below .300 and his strikeouts leading the known universe, David Wright took drastic measures to break out of his slump. He knew that success is directly related to hair, so he decided to take immediate follicle action. Sadly (for us), he was a little misguided in his quest to improve his performance. Rather than beginning to grow a stache, David buzzed his head.
Now, I am a strong advocate of a buzzed head. Sport it myself. I make it look good. But I’m not going 30/30 anytime soon. And neither will David if he doesn’t start thinking about adding hair rather than removing it.
We appreciate his motives. We respect his willingness to shake things up aesthetically to get out of these doldrums. But, David, come on! Naked lips don’t win championships! It rhymes for a reason.
In other news, word from Will Leitch’s Twitter is that Rick Ankiel shaved his mustache. Quitter.
"One day I'll sell luxury jets to athletes and won't have to worry about this pesky baseball crap."
Once every year or so an article surfaces in <insert name of esteemed sports publication here> about Lenny Dykstra’s current exploits. For a while it was a car-wash chain; then it was a magazine geared towards providing luxury services for pro athletes; then it was actually providing those services; and now it’s as an investment advisor (!). This year’s piece-du-jour is by Mike Fish for ESPN, and it’s a lengthy but good read about the man we once called “Nails.” Dykstra’s life might be a bit crazy and he may be all over the map business-wise, but one thing’s been made abundantly clear from this article: he’s kind of a dick!
But he was a damn fine baseball player, and you can’t take that away from him. We can only surmise how he could have been even tougher if he’d had a stache like many of his ‘86 Mets brethren. Today’s docile Mets could learn a thing or two from Nails.
Yes, its true: movies teach us everything we need to know about life. From how to party in college, to what to do if we’re ever involved in a bank robbery, to why we should start smoking cigarettes immediately. They also teach us that mustaches are cool. Other than baseball, nothing has showcased mustaches better than the Movies. Sure, everyone knows that staches are equal parts charisma, sophistication, confidence, brawn, and intelligence all rolled into one neat little furry package. But the movies make them magical. So when David finally accepts his fate and decides to grow, here are the top 5 Movie Mustaches he can look towards for some inspiration:
5. Llewelyn Moss (played by Josh Brolin in No Country for Old Men)
In No Country For Old Men, Josh Brolin gave us a real-life Marlboro man. He was a true mustachioed, cigarette smoking cowboy that didn’t mind getting his hands dirty with whatever the job called for; be it motor oil (he was a mechanic), cow dung (I’m sure he wrangled cows at some point in his short life), or Mexican gangster blood. And when the going got tough, he wasn’t afraid to step up to the challenge and cap a few “sumbitches” or even a pitbull that was just about ready to tear into his jugular. In fact, Josh’s mustache was so effective, that it actually got cast in two other movies that year: American Gangster and In the Valley of Elah. So David, if you’re looking for brawn, then look no further than Josh Brolin.
TWS Detroit Bureau Chief Misopogon is back with another dispatch from America’s burningest city. This time around, he looks at the 1984 Detroit Tigers and their mustaches. Can the kittens maul the Amazins? Will the presence of HoJo on both rosters cause the space-time continuum to implode? Is the devise of asking myself questions being overused? Anyhoo, Misopogon gives us the longest and most meticulously cited in this blog’s short history.
So the ‘82 Brew Crewwent down to the might of the Metstache, but if there’s one team that could compete with the ‘86 Amazins, it’s the stachiest of the stachiest, the team that put the zap in Zappa, the “Bless You Boys,” your 1984 Detroit Tigers.
Let’s see how they stache up after the jump. Read more »
"The oral sex from a clean-shaven man just isn't the same."
Any would-be facial hair enthusiast knows it all too well: girls do not often dig beards and staches. Back in my halcyon days of having a giant, bushy, hassid beard, I always used to get random dudes coming up to me telling me they loved my beard. I’d tell them that they too should grow one, and the answer I’d always get back was “My wife/girlfriend won’t let me.”
What’s that all about!? Seriously; grow a set. If your wife divorces you because of your man-whiskers, what kind of life are you living, my friend? But it raises a valid concern; what if D-Wright girlfriend / super-hot vixen Molly Beers doesn’t dig the stache? To that end, we here at The Wright Stache headquarters have come up with a handy list of reasons D-Wright can use to convince Ms. Beers of the merits of the stache. Read the list after the jump.
I do declare, I love tasting the herbs and spices in my whiskers.
In this installment of Wright Wreasons, we look to David’s roots for proof that he needs to grow a mustache. David is from Norfolk, Virginia and is, thus, from south of the Mason-Dixon Line. As such, David is a Southerner. And throughout history, true Southern gentlemen who achieved great levels of success were mustachioed.
This is in your genes, David. It’s your birthright to grow a mustache and take a hold of your destiny. Embrace your heritage and success will course through your veins like Sherman stormed through Atlanta. OK, maybe that was a bad analogy for Southerners.
I can see the skepticism on your faces. Well, I came prepared. I’ve done the research. I have the facts. Let’s take a look at some great Southern mustaches and the achievements in their respective fields.
On the Mt. Rushmore of staches, Magnum is Washington.
Welcome to our new feature, Wright Wreasons. From time to time, we’ll use these posts to illustrate convincing reasons why it just makes sense for David Wright to grow a mustache. We can give you our opinions until we are Mets blue in the face, but these Wright Reasons make for a much stronger argument. Today’s Wright Wreason: High-rated TV mustaches of David Wright’s birth year, 1982.
David is a product of the 1980s, a TV-centric decade. All of us from the late 1970s and 1980s generations are reflections of the television shows from that era. Take me, for example. My father built me a robot sister and adopted several black children to live in our penthouse apartment while I was a teen-aged doctor.
So, let’s take a look at the top five Nielsen rated shows of the 1982/1983 television season and the mustaches that made them successful. Read more »
If you're a student of the game or just interested in baseball history, you may have considered testing
your knowledge through online sports betting. Ask yourself,
what would Ty Cobb do?
MLB.com, as is its wont,* is allowing fans to vote on their All-Time Nine for each team.
Better Know a Metstache, Updates, Wright Wreasons | Misopogon | 
September 11, 2009 | 
Comments (1) 
What makes a leader?
5. Llewelyn Moss (played by Josh Brolin in No Country for Old Men)
TWS Detroit Bureau Chief Misopogon is back with another dispatch from America’s burningest city. This time around, he looks at the 1984 Detroit Tigers and their mustaches. Can the kittens maul the Amazins? Will the presence of HoJo on both rosters cause the space-time continuum to implode? Is the devise of asking myself questions being overused? Anyhoo, Misopogon gives us the longest and most meticulously cited in this blog’s short history.
