Mets-Sloppily

Summary of the Mets season. Make sure you click the link...

This is made of pure win. Unlike the Mets.

The Leaders and the Stached

HAIL! To this idea of brilliance.
HAIL! To these whiskered heroes.
HAIL! HAIL! To Mustaches for Michigan.
I think I wet my pants.

The Wright Stache, as is publicly known, is generally and publically in favor of any increase in public mustachionism. So we understandably couldn’t help but say “GO YOU!” when one of America’s top public institutions got it into their winged heads to do thus:

As Michigan Alumni, we are here to say that we support you, Rich. We support Michigan. And we’re showing it with our mustaches. We’ll be growing beards during the month of August, and on September 5th, we’ll be sporting serious staches for that first game. Go Blue.

We here at the WrightStache have been trying all summer to get ONE guy to grow a mustache; these fellas are out to convince 106,201 (we’re guessing the invitation does not include the cheerleaders). But when you’re the winningest program in college football history, I guess dreaming big comes with the arborial territory.

To see how they play the game, enter the Big House of Stache, Gate 4.

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OhMurph.com Hilarity and Live Chat

"Go ahead, stroke it!"

At some point over the past couple of weeks our friends over at OhMurph.com have morphed their site from a Daniel Murphy-driven campaign to a sardonic Mets version of The Onion; and it’s hilarious! Check out new articles about Prince Fielder being a fat-ass, Kevin Burkhardt’s former life as a Scandinavian prince, and Fernando Martinez’s — or “F-Mart,” as the kids are calling him — battle with acne. They’re also giving away a signed 8×10 of a young, sexy — and bearded — HoJo.

Today Big Pelf takes the hill in a 2pm game for the Mets, as he tries to stop the bleeding hemmorhaging and prevent the Mets from losing their 6th straight game for their 2nd straight series sweep. OhMurph.com has a live webchat that’ll last through the game. This afternoon I chose not to subject myself to more torture… I think.

Weekend Whiskers from the Blogosphere

With Misopogal departing for Israel from JFK, the Misopogon took this opportunity to leave the Great Lakes State and  come see how things were stachin’ in the city. Meanwhile, the blogosphere blow’d up. This week in blogging, with bullets:

What do fashion bloggers wear on weekends? Wrightstache t-shirts!

• Sunday T-shirt spotting: the trendy Brooklynite at right knows clothes; by day she works for a fashion magazine, by night she’s the proprietress of The Haute Fuzz. And on Sundays, she can be seen strutting the balconies of the Jackie Robinson Rotunda, demonstrating this season’s classiest New York wear. The Fuzz also had a fashion tip for Wrightstache readers (lifted from Facebook):
  

  “too bad you don’t have giant stache stickers we can go stick on the back of everyone else’s shirts… that other ‘5′ looks so sad and naked”

  This is an idea not yet considered: if David were to wear a Wrightstache t-shirt, or even put a mustache over his number, would that have the same effect as real barbs over his lip? We’re guessing, no, but we’re willing to see it attempted.

Want more bloggy bullet goodness? You’ll have to give us a click-through first:

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We Say Thee Yea, Wood Bats of the GSL

Ed note below.

The city of Columbus, Georgia, isn’t well known around the country. Simply by nature of sharing a name with the home of the Yankees’ top farm club, the place d’origine of George Steinbrenner, the nursery of Christian Rock music and the birthplace the Bush political dynasty, they are entitled to all sorts of ridicule.

The wood makes us want to sport stache.

So it was nice to hear this morning that, for once, something good was coming out of Columbus.

If you hadn’t heard already (we hadn’t), there’s an amateur, wood-bat summer baseball league called the Great South League, which lets college ballplayers hone their skills and get used to swinging lumber rather than aluminum. This year, Columbus will join the league, introducing their new team, the Wood Bats. That’s great news, but this in particular caught our attention:

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Oh Murph!

Thought us WrightStachians were the only ones with a cause-based website devoted to a single Met? Not so. OhMurph.com is new website devoted solely to renaming Citi’s left field fans “Murphaholics.” While it’d be easy to take a cheap shot at Daniel Murphy and point out that “Oh Murph!” is what I find myself saying on cue with each daily Murph fielding gaffe (oh snap, I just did!), I actually quite like the guy and hope he can sort out his current problems. Though he reminds me of Todd Hundley in left field circa 1998, he’s got quite the bat and a bright future ahead of him. And if there’s anything that Mets fans love, it’s home-grown talent.

So whaddya say we help out our fellow Mets fans on their mission? Head on over to OhMurph.com, follow them on Twitter, and buy some Murphandise to support the cause. Together we will make Murphaholics and Mustachioed Mets reign supreme at Citi Field in 2009.

Lego Wrightstache!

A simulation of David Wright with jaundice.

Talented friend o’ the stache Mike Yacullo is the brains behind Planet of the Geeks.  You’ve probably read about our love affair with his Lego Keiths both retro and modern.  Well, because he’s awesome, Mike gave us a Lego David Wright…with a mustache!  Now we can see what David truly would look like if he wisened up and let his true nature show.

From where we stand, David looks pretty dashing with that lip hair.  Mature, confident and clearly superior to other Legos. Seeing our goal realized in Lego form is a dream come true.  As I type this, tears of joy are streaming down my face.  Though, that may just be my reaction to the high pollen count.

Thanks, Mike!  You can check all three of his Lego Wrightstache pictures by clicking the thumbnails below.  And be sure to check out Planet of the Geeks to see all of Mike’s amazing handiwork.

Tough As Nails

"One day I'll sell luxury jets to athletes and won't have to worry about this pesky baseball crap."

Once every year or so an article surfaces in <insert name of esteemed sports publication here> about Lenny Dykstra’s current exploits. For a while it was a car-wash chain; then it was a magazine geared towards providing luxury services for pro athletes; then it was actually providing those services; and now it’s as an investment advisor (!). This year’s piece-du-jour is by Mike Fish for ESPN, and it’s a lengthy but good read about the man we once called “Nails.” Dykstra’s life might be a bit crazy and he may be all over the map business-wise, but one thing’s been made abundantly clear from this article: he’s kind of a dick!

But he was a damn fine baseball player, and you can’t take that away from him. We can only surmise how he could have been even tougher if he’d had a stache like many of his ‘86 Mets brethren. Today’s docile Mets could learn a thing or two from Nails.

AMI Mustache Poll

I have no caption that is more amazing than this photo.

Fantastic friends o’ the stache The American Mustache Institute are currently running a poll to see “how a mustache influences perceptions of a man.” The poll focuses on both attractiveness and professionalism and how mustaches affect both factors.

Currently, the response that mustaches make men “appear more more attractive and professional” is, obviously, leading the pack.  But we need to make it a decisive victory.  We need this to serve as further proof for David that he needs a stache.

So, make your way over to the AMI poll and vote with your hearts (and your upper lips).  Remember, men died for so we could have these freedoms.

Legostache Redux

Hair dyed with Just For Legos.

Last month, we celebrated Planet of the Geeks blogger Mike Yacullo’s Lego Keith Hernandez.  Well, he’s brilliant enough to know that color commentator Keith is just as beloved as first baseman Keith, so he produced a 2009 version complete with SNY set, reading glasses and microphone.

Of course, the stache looks fantastic.  We’d love to see Lego Gary and Ron join Keith in the booth.  But here’s hoping that a limping Cleveland Indians Keith isn’t in the works.

Mike, do you think you could put a stache on Lego David Wright?

The Wright Home Run Trot

"These lips sure would taste better with some hair on 'em."

Staches make players better. This much we know. While perusing this highly excellent photo set of opening day at Citi Field (with some great pictures of D-Wright’s homerun) contemplate how a hairy upper lip could affect Wright’s performance for the better. Then, take a look at this spotlight piece in today’s New York Times in which Jose Reyes professes his desire to steal home like the late, great Jackie Robinson. Maybe Jose could sport a fine stache to compliment his chin whiskers, too.

Upon Further Review: The Pelfrey Tumble

When they said they’re bringing back the old Mets to celebrate the opening of Citi Field, I didn’t realize they meant the blooper-reel spirit of Marvelous Marv Throneberry was invited too.

One particular event of last night’s game, however, stood out to me as more than a little Marv.

A lot of things can happen in baseball, but a guy who’s 6′7, with enough coordination to consistently whip a baseball over 95 mph into a 6-inch by 6-inch window that’s about 60 feet, 10 inches* from his release point, does not just…fall…down!

Something had to be underfoot.

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Citi Field Brick Supports TheWrightStache Mission

"We paid for these bricks to inflate our self-worth."

If you’ve had the privilege of attending a game at Citi Field yet, you’d know that as you approach the entrance to the Jackie Robinson Rotunda you’ll see a large series of engraved bricks paving the walkway, each with a personally selected message chosen by zealous suckers Mets fans willing to be gauged out of donate to charity at least $195 to have their words grace the doormat entrance-way of our beloved Mets’ new home until it’s knocked down and the next one is built for all of eternity.

One such brick (given, not the one TWS readers Daryl Stacheberry and Oliver Peachfuzz strong-armed me into contributing towards), highlighted in a recent New York Times piece, seems to have pre-emptively supported the mission of The Wright Stache:

McDowell’s Mets teams of the 1980s, with all their flash and flair, might have been what prompted the Loshiavo Family to write, “Great Hair Wins Championships!”

Loshiavo family, we could not agree more. McDowell and co. may have had some wicked flop-tops, but we all know it was their stylish lip jazz that led the ‘86 team to glory. We hope you’ll join us in our mission to get David Wright to grow a ’stache.

Perhaps we’ve inadvertently stumbled upon a pre-game meeting place for our TWS Million Mustache Marches? Get it? Stumbled upon. See what I did there? Bricks on the ground… walking… stumbled. Yeah.

-JCP

Wright Wreasons: Maneater Edition

Naturally, Oates was always the outside spoon.

It’s time once again to focus on irrefutable reasons why David Wright should grow a mustache.  This time around, we focus on music.  It’s a scientific fact that we are all shaped by the song that is #1 on the Billboard charts on the day we’re born.  How else would you explain my awesomeness if not for this?  So, naturally, I was not the least bit surprised to learn that the #1 song in America on December 20, 1982 was none other than “Maneater” by Hall & Oates.

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Just Because: Willie Hernández

Willing always looked to the horizon. Waiting...waiting...

It’s a slow news day.  Only one game in the books.  No game today.  No movement on the hairs of David Wright’s lip.  So, I thought I’d throw a classic stache out there into the ether for you all to enjoy.  Courtesy of our good friends at Nerd Baseball, we’re honored to shine a spotlight on Willie Hernández.

Willie won the Cy Young and MVP in 1984 after going 9-3 with 32 saves, a 1.92 ERA and 112 K in 140 IP.  He also picked up a World Series ring.  Not a bad year for a mustache!

I wish I had more to say.  Hairy Backman is on the beach in the Caribbean and JCP is shaking off jetlag after catching a flight back from San Diego where he was scouting West Coast staches at Petco.

Back to action tomorrow agains the Reds.  I promise we’ll be more interesting.

Opening Day Goodness

Mr. Met avoided the mandatory waiting period by purchasing a black market t-shirt cannon.

It’s Opening Day and the internet is aflutter with news, predictions and analysis.  But at The Wright Stache, we’re not into prognostication.  Opening Day is sacred.  We prefer to sit back and enjoy.  Also, I work from home, so I’ll be watching the Mets-Reds game on TV (weather in Cincy permitting).

Hairy Backman is away for the week, so we’ll try to pick up the slack. Let’s start the day with a look around the Mets blogging universe and others’ takes on Opening Day.  Meanwhile, I’m going to order a six-foot party sub for myself.

• Amazin’ Avenue breaks down the Reds with one of their beat reporters.
• MetsBlog delivers the good news that Johan is finding his rhythm.
• Faith and Fear in Flushing has an open letter to the Mets about what the next 162 games mean.
• The Daily Stache goes beyond Opening Day and looks at the full week ahead.
• And the ‘Ropolitans get us pumped up in the best possible way.

So, it may be Monday, it may be raining in New York and you may have a painful burning from your weekend escapades, but it’s Opening Day!  All is “Wright” with the world.  See what I did there?  Yeah, it’s going to be a good week.

Breaking News: D-Wright Says “No” to the Stache!

“I don’t think I could grow one even if I wanted to,” said David Wright in an interview with the New York Post whilst stroking his chin in thought.

Bollocks! We will not be dettered.

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New York Mag Mets Preview

Perhaps a Freddie Mercury stache is the way to go.

Friend o’ the stache, former Deadspin editor and current New York columnist Will Leitch has written a preview of the 2009 Mets season.  He argues that this is a make-or-break season for the Metropolitans and that their championship window may be closing.  There’s good news and questionable news, but one thing is undeniable: David Wright is the linchpin.

Leitch goes into detail on every Mets regular and starter and takes a glance at the bullpen, bench and leadership.  Not surprising, he praises our protaganist highly.

3B David Wright. He might not have been particularly clutch last September (although maybe his big game-winning hit against Puerto Rico in the World Baseball Classic will open up heretofore undiscovered “clutch” powers), but Wright is the best third baseman in the game. He had season highs in homers and RBIs and continues to be world-class in the field. He doesn’t run as much as he used to, but if he stays healthy, Wright could be an MVP this year. You build empires around players like this one.

Leitch’s piece is a solid read.  And while he doesn’t mention mustaches or The Wright Stache specifically, one can safely assume that his predictions for the season would have been more optimistic if David had started sprouting whiskers by now.

New York

Bleacher Report Interviews The Wright Stache

Please divide b by r and show all work.

From time-to-time, The Wright Stache receives interview requests.  In fact, I’d say that 40% of the emails that we receive start out with “are you available for an interview?”  The remaining 60% offer us discounted Viagra or seek to change our focus into convincing David Wright to look like this.  This week, we received a very polite and interesting request from the good folks at Bleacher Report.

So, while Hairy Backman and Jose’s Chin Pubes worked to put food on the table, I represented The Wright Stache triad in a sitdown with Mike Blewitt for a no-holds-barred interview about The Wright Stache, the Mets and the power of the mustache.

Be a doll and check out the interview over at Bleacher Report right now.

Bleacher Report

Legostache

Fur coat sold separately. Not for use with some sets.

Sometimes you see something and it’s so beautiful that it hurts.  Like a bag blowing in the wind.  This is one of those times.  It’s a Lego Keith Hernandez with accurate mustache!  Check out Planet of the Geeks to see how it was done.  We here at The Wright Stache were floored when we saw this.  Even in Lego form, Keith is larger than life and his stache adds a dignified air to even the yellowist of figurines.

No word yet on whether a Bret Saberhagen figure with optional bleach-filled Super Soaker will be available anytime soon.  Fingers crossed!

Planet of the Geeks via MetsBlog