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Mets Wars: Episode IV

by Misopogon | September 12th, 2009

a long time ago, in a galaxy called Flushing…

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a
hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the
Empire’s ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station
with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, Princess Leia races home
aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her
people and restore freedom to the galaxy…


Did you hear that? They’ve shut down the main reactor. We’ll be destroyed for sure.This is madness! …We’re doomed!

Did you hear that? They’ve shut down the main reactor. We’ll be destroyed for sure.This is madness! …We’re doomed!

Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?

Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?

If this is a consular ship...were is the Ambassador?

If this is a consular ship...were is the Ambassador?

That’s funny, the damage doesn’t look as bad from out here.

That’s funny, the damage doesn’t look as bad from out here.

Send a distress signal and then inform the senate that all aboard were killed!

Send a distress signal and then inform the senate that all aboard were killed!


How did I get into this mess? I really don’t know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It’s our lot in life.

How did I get into this mess? I really don’t know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It’s our lot in life.

Go that way! You’ll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile!

Go that way! You’ll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile!

Well, my little friend, you’ve got something jammed in here real good. Were you on a star cruiser or…

Well, my little friend, you’ve got something jammed in here real good. Were you on a star cruiser or…

But it’s a whole ‘nother year! Look, it’s only one more season. Yeah, that’s what you said when Biggs left.

But it’s a whole ‘nother year! Look, it’s only one more season. Yeah, that’s what you said when Biggs left.

Rest easy, son, you’ve had a busy day. You’re fortunate you’re still in one piece.

Rest easy, son, you’ve had a busy day. You’re fortunate you’re still in one piece.

There’s nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. You’d have been killed, too, and the droids would be in the hands of the Empire.

There’s nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. You’d have been killed, too, and the droids would be in the hands of the Empire.

Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

He doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either. You just watch yourself. We’re wanted men. I have the death sentence on 12 systems!

He doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either. You just watch yourself. We’re wanted men. I have the death sentence on 12 systems!

Seventeen thousand! Those guys must really be desperate. This could really save my neck. Get back to the ship and get her ready.

Seventeen thousand! Those guys must really be desperate. This could really save my neck. Get back to the ship and get her ready.

She’ll make point five beyond the speed of light. She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid. I’ve added some special modifications myself.

She’ll make point five past light speed. She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid. I’ve added some special modifications myself.


No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t...

No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t...

I felt a great disturbance in the Force…as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

I felt a great disturbance in the Force…as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

There’s nothin’ I can do about it, kid. I’m in full power. I’m going to have to shut down. But they’re not going to get me without a fight!

There’s nothin’ I can do about it, kid. I’m in full power. I’m going to have to shut down. But they’re not going to get me without a fight!

You can’t win. But there are alternatives to fighting.

You can’t win. But there are alternatives to fighting.


They must be delivered safely or other star systems will suffer the same fate as Alderaan. Your destiny lies along a different path than mine. The Force will be with you…always!

They must be delivered safely or other star systems will suffer the same fate as Alderaan. Your destiny lies along a different path than mine. The Force will be with you…always!

Where did you dig up that old fossil? Ben is a great man!

Where did you dig up that old fossil? Ben is a great man!

Uh…had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

Uh…had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

The Jedi are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that’s left of their religion.

The Jedi are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that’s left of their religion.

Look, I had everything under control until you led us down here. You know, it’s not going to take them long to figure out what happened to us.

Look, I had everything under control until you led us down here. You know, it’s not going to take them long to figure out what happened to us.

Listen to them! They’re dying, Artoo! Curse my metal body! I wasn’t fast enough. It’s all my fault! My poor master!

Listen to them! They’re dying, Artoo! Curse my metal body! I wasn’t fast enough. It’s all my fault! My poor master!

You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

NO!!!

NO!!!


We dont have time for our sorrows, Commander. You must use the information in this R2 unit to plan the attack - its our only hope.     We don’t have time for our sorrows, Commander. You must use the information in this R2 unit to plan the attack - it’s our only hope.

We don't have time for our sorrows, Commander. You must use the information in this R2 unit to plan the attack - it's our only hope.

The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It’s a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station.

The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It’s a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station.


I’m hit, but not bad. Artoo, see what you can do with it. Hang on back there.

I’m hit, but not bad. Artoo, see what you can do with it. Hang on back there.

Gold Five to Red Leader...Lost Tiree, lost Hutch. They came from behind....

Gold Five to Red Leader...Lost Tiree, lost Hutch. They came from behind....

Youre all clear, kid! Now lets blow this thing so we can go home.

You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing so we can go home.

Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!

Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!


I knew there was more to you than money!

I knew that there was more to you than money!

Oh, my! Artoo! Can you hear me? Say something! You can repair him, cant you? You must repair him! Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help, Ill gladly donate them.

Oh, my! Artoo! Can you hear me? Say something! You can repair him, can't you? You must repair him! Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help, I'll gladly donate them.

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