Unassisted Triple Play-stache

Still sexy.

Girlfriend O’ The Stache and I went to yesterday’s heartbreaking loss to the Phils. Just when it seemed like the Mets might actually pull one off and generate a 9th inning rally to overcome another hair-pulling Oliver Perez meltdown, the improbable — nay, the impossible — happened, and Jeff Francoeur hit into an unassisted triple play. To Eric Bruntlett no less, who’d already bungled two balls in that inning. On a day that Angel Pagan hit two homers, one inside the park and one out of it, an ending this crazy only seemed fitting. But that made it no less depressing. At least we got to cheer for Pedro (who booed? seriously? who are you? die in a plane crash.)

In any case, we hope David Wright is using his concussed time on the disabled list to ponder growing a mustache. Furthermore, we hope that since he’ll be away from the TV cameras for some time he’ll experiment with a little upper-lip follicle action, and upon seeing how awesome it looks he’ll decide to keep it. You never know. It’s not too late. Believe!

Jon Stewart Sends Gift Basket to D-Wright

We’re fans of Jon Stewart here at The Wright Stache, so naturally we found amusing this Daily News bit (I found it on a subway seat, I swear, ok?) about Jon Stewart’s gift to our ailing David Wright:

Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show and an avid Mets fan, sent Wright deli-style cold cuts.Wright, who suffered a concussion on Saturday, has been bombarded with gifts of food. “I got a lot of matzo ball soup,” Wright said.

Nothing like a giant slab of roast beef plopped on the head to help a concussion. Get well soon, David.

Citi Field Burger Conquest!!

WRITTEN BY GUEST BLOGGER REVEREND DAVID J. CIANCIO OF BURGER CONQUEST

With our woeful Mets struggling to do anything right (last night’s Braves pummeling notwithstanding) and a 3rd Shake Shack location opened at Citi Field, we had a perfect target for a Wright Stache / Burger Conquest joint operation. But why stop at 2 blogs? We like to go big so we invited Mookie Singerman from the metal band Genghis Tron, on behalf of heavy metal blog MetalSucks, and our good friend Chuck — who somehow managed to hook up 5th row seats behind the 3rd base dugout, and also happens to run the road merch operation for Alice in Chains and others — to join in on our pursuit for a tasty burger.

If you’re a foodie like we are, you know all there is to know about the Danny Meyer “roadside” burger stand, the Shake Shack. If this is the first you have heard of it, there’s a reason for the hype; it’s awesome. You can read more by clicking here. One of our favorite summer pastimes is drinking and eating our way around a baseball park (See Yankee Stadium / Dodger Stadium Burger Conquests) this was lined up to be a lot of fun. With Mustaches adorned, we set off on our Conquest.

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Stache Outing Tonight at Citi!

Tonight, The Wright Stache’s own JCP will be on hand at Citi Field to watch the woeful Mets and Livan Hernandez attempt to take the final game of the series from the less woeful San Francisco Giants. It’s a joint outing with burger-reviewing pioneers Burger Conquest at which we’ll be waiting for, waiting for, waiting for, and two innings later eating, enjoying and subsequently reviewing the Citi Field Shake Shack burger. MetalSucks‘ Vince Neilstein, Genghis Tron vocalist Mookie Singerman (his name is actually friggin’ Mookie for cryin’ out loud) and walking Mets encyclopedia Chuck Haile will also be on hand to join in on the ’stache / burger / metal fun.

If you see the ’stache, say hi!

That’s Gonna Leave a Mark

Fortunately, with David, the tongue sticking out is a good sign (Image courtesy of NY Daily News)

Able, you probably already know this, but your brother is a douchebag.

What happened? During last night’s 5-4 extra-inning fall to the Giants (not those Giants), San Fran starter Matt Cain beaned David Wright in the head with a 94-mph fastball. The helmet went flying off. David was on his back for over a minute. I said some choice words about Matt Cain. But nobody really thought he threw at David on purpose.

Is he all-Wright? Yes. David spent the night in the hospital with a concussion. Plus, there’s this good news from Francoeur (from AP reporter Howie Rumberg):

(after jump)

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The Leaders and the Stached

HAIL! To this idea of brilliance.
HAIL! To these whiskered heroes.
HAIL! HAIL! To Mustaches for Michigan.
I think I wet my pants.

The Wright Stache, as is publicly known, is generally and publically in favor of any increase in public mustachionism. So we understandably couldn’t help but say “GO YOU!” when one of America’s top public institutions got it into their winged heads to do thus:

As Michigan Alumni, we are here to say that we support you, Rich. We support Michigan. And we’re showing it with our mustaches. We’ll be growing beards during the month of August, and on September 5th, we’ll be sporting serious staches for that first game. Go Blue.

We here at the WrightStache have been trying all summer to get ONE guy to grow a mustache; these fellas are out to convince 106,201 (we’re guessing the invitation does not include the cheerleaders). But when you’re the winningest program in college football history, I guess dreaming big comes with the arborial territory.

To see how they play the game, enter the Big House of Stache, Gate 4.

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If a Third Baseman Grows a Stache in Detroit…

Look closely and you can see the beginnings of an AL Pennant

We have news: an All-Star 3rd baseman has begun growing a mustache.

No, it is not David Wright. But it’s the next best thing…

Brandon Inge. Roar of the Tigers:

CONFIRMED: Brandon Inge is, in fact, growing a mustache. It is, in fact, terrible. Before today’s game he claimed that it was a Rally Mustache, an attempt to change the luck of the Tigers. Will it help his bat? Will it help the bats of other Cats? Brandon Inge does not know. He hopes it will help him, but if it helps someone else– if they manage to hit better “due to [his] ugliness,” as he said in the pregame interview– the Rally ’stache will have served its purpose.

Did I not tell you the Tigers and a Mets share a metaphysical link? I mean, the Tigers win in ‘68, the Mets win in ‘69. The Tigers win in ‘84, the Mets win in ‘86. And Howard Johnson was on both of those teams!

And now the Tigers head to Boston with a STACHE ON THEIR 3rd BASEMAN!

This is how it begins, folks. I will be at Fenway tonight. I will capture this Ingeian stache. I will show you non-believers how winning and mustaches on All-Star third basemen are connected. I WILL SHOW YOU ALL!!!

…Misopogon, running off into the abyss…and giggling.

Update: Back from Boston — it looks like he kept it. But the Tigers dropped two to the Red Sox. On the other hand, they’ve been battling, and gave themselves a chance to win two games they had no business winning. So I’d say the stache is working.

The seed has been planted, and there’s a chance the Tigers may stache up afterall. A whole team of mustaches? We will definitely be keeping an eye on this.

Shooting Down Our Stachey Shoots

Cut down before his prime

The injury train rolls on. The latest victim: Jonathon Niese.  Hamstring. Here’s the Mets’ 2009 season in a nutshell:

Promising young pitcher, promising young stache, HAMSTRING INJURY OUT FOR SEASON SURGERY ARRRGH!

Sorry for the caps.

It makes you wonder, if the Mets could have gone back and done it all over again, if a mustache would have helped? Maybe extra padding, I don’t know. I’m starting to think, though, that Big Pelf falling off the mound in the Citi Field opener wasn’t a good sign.

Brian Costa says this one hurts more. What exactly does “more” mean? Hasn’t the whole season been painful enough?

At least last night’s 9-0 drubbing of the Cardinals and their fake staches was cathartic.

The Wright Stache will be down at Coney Island on Saturday to root on the next crop (and to see if there’s anybody down there we can add to the thresher that is the Mets dugout this year). Other than that, I welcome you all to become Tigers fans for the rest of the season. You’ll like the Tigers — Detroit could surely use the help, they’re orange and blue, they play solid defense and have great young pitchers. And they’re footing the bill for Shef…..BREAKING NEWS SHEFFIELD  HAMSTRING INJURY OUT FOR WEEKS ARRRRRRGGGH!

Oh well. At least there’s one more reason (but you gotta jump).

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