Wrightstache Exclusive Interview: Mario

Longtime Mets fans like Mario Mario of Brooklyn think the Mets just need a spark to get back in the hunt

With the Amazins in the tank and the Wrightstachians on the road, the Wright Stache has been quiet. Too quiet.

Well not that quiet. We’ve been at Citi Field, spreading the message, meeting fans of the stache, and getting their perspective on what’s wrong with the Mets this year (aside from, you know, the obvious listlessness, winlessness, healthlessness, and stachelessness).

Our thoughts on the subject have been shared ad infinitem, which is a fancy Latin way of saying “a whole bunch.” So we thought it was high time we got some input from the other fans out there — the hardworking Mets partisans who expect to come home from a long day of plumbing, or stomping on monster heads, and relax to a well-played game of baseball, preferably one in which the Mets whup the ever-livin’ koopa droppings out of the Phillies.

Herein follows a candid interview with one longtime Mets fan, Mario Mario, a plumber from Bensonhurst, and proud Mustached American. (Press ‘B’ to jump)

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Cardinalstaches

A bit late, but no less relevant: Wright Stache commenter Sean alerted us to the fact that the Cardinals startering pitchers have all grown mustaches. Adam Wainwright, Kyle Lohse, Joel Piñeiro and Todd Wellemeyer sported lip-sweaters starting in early July as a way to try and change the team’s forunes, and judging by the standings today (they’re two games up on Chicago in the NL Central) it seems to be working. Said Wainright:

“We were sitting around thinking of something to do and one of the other guys said we should mix it up. We wondered how we could do it and ended up cutting mustaches that night. We won the next day.”

Oh woeful 2009 Mets, couldn’t you learn a thing or two from these Cards?

Subway Stache

At last week’s Stache outing in which the Mets bested the Dodgers (yeah, they actually beat someone), we made a new friend on the subway on the way home from the game. Upon entering the 7 “Super Express” train waiting at the station (side note: how did it take them 40-some-odd years to think of this? brilliant.), a fine young lady sat on the seat bench with a classic stache-and-nose set of play glasses. High-fives and introductions were exchanged, and Girlfriend O’ The Stache Emily snapped these excellent photos. Thanks to Sydney C. for being a a great sport! Needless to say, now we have another supporter of David growing a ‘Stache. The other people on the train were a bit put off by the commotion, but whatevs.

More pics after the jump!

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Homerun Derby: Lo Duca-Stache

"This stache entitles me to have as many mistresses as I want, free of tabloid attention."

Today is the homerun derby, otherwise known as the kinda interesting event that happens the day before that collosal waste of time also known as the All-Star Game. When thinking of homerun derbies I’ll always think about our own D-Wright’s marvelous performance in the 2006 event, in which our hero put up a sparkling performance in Round 1 only to eventually be bested by 1 total homerun by Phillies slugger Ryan Howard. The pitcher tossing D-Wright those juicy, Italian meatballs? None other than Paul Lo Duca, a man whose fiery attitude and fiery mustache we know all too well.

Lo Duca, pictured at right in his much stachier Dodgers days, had one helluva stache — even when he shaved he had a sort of built in, 5 o’clock Guido shadow. I call BS on those who heralded Lo Duca’s arrival to the Mets as a “homecoming” — the guy only lived in Brooklyn from ages 0-2, for chrissakes — but the guy had heart and attitude, something the 2009 club sorely lacks. His fierce competitor’s spirit was no doubt due to his man-whiskers; perhaps David could learn a thing or two from the man who helped propel him to national glory on that fateful night in 2006!

Better Know a Metstache: Frank Viola

"Yeaaahhhh baby."

Frank Viola’s mustache was like his pitching style; subtle and full of finesse. A native Long Islander, Viola was welcomed with arms wide open by Mets fans anxious to recapture the glory of the ‘86 and ‘88 seasons.

Viola came to the Mets at the 1989 trading deadline after the Minnesota Twins, his long-time team which he’d led to a World Series Championship just two years earlier, soured on his request for more money. The Mets gave up fan-favorite Rick Aguilera as well as David West and Kevin Tapani, a trade that made sense at the time to acquire a front-line starter like Viola but ended up backfiring in the longterm. Viola’s first full season with the Mets ended up being his only good one; Viola was 20-12 that year with a 2.67 ERA in 35 starts, including 3 shutouts and a league-leading 249.2 innings. Frankie V started out strong in ‘91, but nagging injuries contributed to a 2-11 record down the stretch.

The Mets let Viola go to free agency after the 1991 season. He’d play two full seasons in Boston before undergoing Tommy John surgery and finishing his career with the Reds and the Blue Jays. Lifetime he went 176-150 with a 3.73 ERA, compiling 2836 innings, 1844 strikeouts, 16 shut outs and 74 complete games. His son is currently in the White Sox organization.

And now you better know a Metstache.

Murph’s Behind-the-Back Toss

Girlfriend O’ The Stache Emily and I had quite the fun outing at Citi Field last night; K-Rod made it interesting at the end, but it was an all-around clean win for the Mets who edged the Dodgers 5-4. D-Wright had two key hits (still no mustache), and we sold a bunch of Wright Stache t-shirts after the game by the subway entrance, our sales no doubt helped by the Mets’ win and Wright’s strong day. We even took some funny photos on the subway with some newly-converted Wright Stachians (more on this later).

But the night belonged to 1B Daniel Murphy with his unbelievable behind-the-back toss to Brian Parnell to nail a runner in a bang-bang play at 1st base. Citi was going nuts; the dudes at OhMurph.com must’ve been ecstatic! Here it is:

Wow. Only play I can remember with that kind of acrobatic work in recent Mets history was our own D-Wright’s bare-handed grab going into left field a few years back. Amazing play!

Better When Unfettered

It's the 4th of July, yet still no stache, "why?"

It’s been a rough Independence for our as-yet-stacheless Wright, who went 0-11 against the Phillies over the weekend, as the NL East rivals’ pitchers “hampered,” and “hamstrung,” “put the clamps down on,” and essentially “tied up” our hero. He wasn’t flustered, it seems, so much as fettered.

tr.v. fet·tered, fet·ter·ing, fet·ters

2. To restrict the freedom of.

A bit ago I posted a link on this blog about NYC and the Yankees, who were in a bit of trouble over supposedly harassing fans who chose not to stand and sing “God Smite the Red Sox Bless America” in the 7th Inning.

That case has been settled, though only the city, and not the Yankees organization, was found liable. The problem was that nobody could prove the Yankees had a policy of intimidating and harassing non-conformists (and B&T’s — how they hate B&T’s) who skipped their redundant moment of patriotism. In fact, the biggest thing the Yankees were possibly guilty of, it seems, was “fettering:”

[F]ans may not always have felt completely unfettered. Ushers used handheld chains to block off some exits while it was played at the Yankees’ old stadium, although chief operating officer Lonn Trost has said they were instructed to let through spectators with emergencies.

I don’t see how such fettering can be considered acceptable. If fans are not feeling unfettered, then they are in fetters, and we were born into a country — a country we sing to at least once every baseball game — where being unfettered is a born-in right. It says right there in the Constitution, Article I Say So:

Don’t fetter.

(stay tuned, I’ll find a way to related this to D-Wright and his stache)¹

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David, Grow It.

With mustache, you're looking at the face of a future Hall of Famer.

After scoring a measly 1 run en route to a victory behind Big Pelf yesterday, the Mets appear likely to squander yet another one in agonizing fashion this afternoon in Pittsburgh. As I type this, F-Rod just blew a save and it’s tied 8-8 in the top of 10th.

David, come on dude. WTF??? Grow it already. You know you want to. You know you NEED to. Do it!

This team needs a little sass, and it needs you to grow a Mustache. Be that guy.

Happy 4th of July weekend, everyone.

[UPDATE: The Mets win! Thaaaaaaa Mets win! F U John Sterling.]

OhMurph.com Hilarity and Live Chat

"Go ahead, stroke it!"

At some point over the past couple of weeks our friends over at OhMurph.com have morphed their site from a Daniel Murphy-driven campaign to a sardonic Mets version of The Onion; and it’s hilarious! Check out new articles about Prince Fielder being a fat-ass, Kevin Burkhardt’s former life as a Scandinavian prince, and Fernando Martinez’s — or “F-Mart,” as the kids are calling him — battle with acne. They’re also giving away a signed 8×10 of a young, sexy — and bearded — HoJo.

Today Big Pelf takes the hill in a 2pm game for the Mets, as he tries to stop the bleeding hemmorhaging and prevent the Mets from losing their 6th straight game for their 2nd straight series sweep. OhMurph.com has a live webchat that’ll last through the game. This afternoon I chose not to subject myself to more torture… I think.