The All*Star Case for Lastings Milledge
by Misopogon | May 12th, 2009
He can run; he can hit for average; he can hit for power; he can throw; he can fi... he can run!
At first, we thought it was a joke. I mean, c’mon, get real, a campaign to get Lastings Milledge in the All Star Game?
I mean…Lastings?
It didn’t make any sense. They couldn’t possibly be talking about the same guy — the five-tool fella that Mets fans remember for his friendly fan interaction (and fly ball non-interaction)!
Could it be our erstwhile young Lastings is already grown up and worthy of an All Star ticket?
I thought no.
But then I saw his face…
Lastings couldn't cut it as a Met, but as you can see, he's still got all the tools for success.
Now I’m a believer!
We here at the Wright Stache realize that our readers have different opinions on fan balloting for the MLB All Star (except in that we all immediately skip to the NL third base spot and punch our David Wright bubbles before filling out the rest of the cards).
But we all agree it has its problems. How can a balloting process that starts on Opening Day possibly give us an accurate measure of which players are the best at their respective positions?
Most voters don’t pay attention to which player is having a standout season, or which name guy is hitting .186 and has been on the DL all but four games this year. They don’t even know which guys have a new mustache! At best, they vote for their team, and pick big-name guys.
Fan voting means the All Star lineup tends to miss things little things like major sluggers switching positions, or one-time superstars moving to a new league, or a young infielder hitting .302, with 68 runs, 23 doubles, 10 triples, 10 home runs and 32 stolen bases in the first half, or the fact that all Yankees inherently suck.
Other times, fans start a campaign to purposely put a total nobody into the All Star Game. Nobody knows why they do this. Maybe certain fans think it’s poetic justice for a mediocre squad. Maybe it’s just to show the league how easily defeated their system really is. Or maybe this whole Power of the Internet thing is still new, and so long as the computer geeks of the world are under 30 and squarely on the side of anarchy, might as well have a little fun, right?
Look at that young lip cover; we always knew he had potential!
All it takes to bring this system down is one well-organized campaign behind one obviously undeserving candidate.
So to make sure that doesn’t happen I’m recommending everybody start voting now for Lastings Milledge (and Carlos Beltran and Daniel Murphy of course) to represent the National League in the 2009 All Star game. The Internet Geeks are probably already out there, devising a nefarious scheme to send some non-stached nobody to St. Louis this summer. We cannot let such a travesty take place. If there’s going to be some guy from AAA in the 2009 Major League All Star Game, then doggonit, it’s going to be a player with all five tools for the job. And by tools, we mean the ability to hit for power and average, the speed to run the bases and get to fly balls, a cannon for an arm, and of course, a guy who knows how to flash the leather mustache.
p.s. Memories to Last a Lifetime
Favorite Milledge memory: watching Lastings bounce off the Green Monster to ruin a classic Glavine/Schilling pitcher’s duel.
Tags: All Star Game, Lastings Milledge
Stache Spotting, Wright Wreasons | Misopogon | 
May 12, 2009
