Good morning to the fine and friendly readers of The Wright Stache. Today is Monday, April 13th. Tonight marks the Mets 2009 Home Opener at the brand spankin’ new Citi Field. Mets Legend Tom Seaver will be throwing the ceremonial first pitch tonight. And on the receiving end of that pitch? None other than the greatest catcher in Mets and Metstache history, Mike Piazza.
The blogosphere has been giving Mike a lot of junk lately, saying this and that about how he may have used steroids. We won’t take a position on that one way or another, because here at the ’stache, we stick to the real issues. And by real issues, I’m talkin’ Handlebar or Fu-Chu. Walrus or Imperial. Pencil-thin or Thick-as-Thieves. Ya dig?
Mike toyed with several different styles throughout his career before shaving it all off a couple of years ago. But we’re assuming (hoping) he pulled a surprise-growth for old times sake and shows it off at Citi tonight. If he does, we’re taking it as a symbolic tip-of-the-cap towards The Wright Stache movement.
Yahoo! Sports today had a little fantasy advice on the baseball front page.
No. 2 on the cold list? Take a look for yourself:
I know what you’re thinking (aside from I think Lance Berkman is giving me the Hey-yo eyes)…
Yeah, I wish I could hit .316 for a week and be called cold too. But this is perennial MVP candidate David Wright we’re talking about; I think he can do better, and Yahoo! does too.
Until the spring chill gets replaced by the summer sun, those sweet swings are still gonna land inside the fences, and there’s nothing we can do about that. But see that thermometer beside D-Wright? That’s lip temperature right there. And we CAN do something about THAT!
Sometimes a photo catches a person in a time of deep introspection. A moment of reflection. A instance of calm. And other times it’s just a picture of a dude thinking about rape allegations and throwing firecrackers at kids. You take the good, you take the bad and, well, what was the good again? Oh, right, this week at The Wright Stache was the good stuff. What was so good about it, you rudely ask? Well, we:
Yelled “Play Ball!” on the 2009 season! It’s finally here!
Another lovely week in The Wright Stache neighborhood.
As usual, we’ll poke our heads in over the weekend to say hi and make sure that you kids are playing nicely. We might even fix some snacks.
As always, we appreciate you stopping by our corner of the internet. We know that there’s a lot of good porn out there, so we thank you for spending some time with us.
We’re not fans of Jason Giambi’s mustache ’round The Wright Stache HQ; the way we see it, mustaches represent dignity and shouldn’t be grown for dares and jokes. But in an interview conducted by Eqsuire last fall and sent in to TWS by LadyStache, Giambi had some pretty worthwhile tips for a would-be whisker grower, including the process of growing it in and the reaction of the opposite sex — the latter of which is an issue we surmised the young, studly David might be concerned:
Interviewer: Probably the most important question, how have the ladies reacted to it?
Giambi: It’s been unbelievable, they absolutely love it, which I can’t believe. I’m almost in that category of molester to porn-star, so it’s… like I said, people absolutely love it. I think people look at it like ‘this guy’s got enough balls to actually grow a mustache.’”
So there you go, David. Be a man. Grow some balls. The ladies will love you even more.
Nothing helps you get through the homestretch of a Friday afternoon like a bonus edition of 1986 Mets: A Year to Remember theater! You’ve gotten dirty with the Wild Boys, given your teammates the hot foot and witnessed a rock solid man-on-man relationship. And now comes a video that celebrates the entire 1986 Mets team.
Watch as the Mets become the toast of New York. Gasp as you see how many magazine covers they graced (who decided to include WWOR broadcaster Tim McCarver twice in the montage?). Giggle when you catch Ray Knight subtly give a TV camera the finger. The Mets belonged to the city. And this sax riff belongs to the ages.
It’s almost time to slide down the dinosaur’s neck and call it a weekend. Hang in there, baby!
This is the one and only time Dave was ever seen smiling.
Ahoy! Hairy B, here, checking in from USVI. The post you are about to read originally began as a fine edition to the Better Know a Metstache series. However, after making it through several paragraphs, I realized there weren’t many positive things to say about the fine stached stallion on the right. So, I decided it best to turn TS’s Sad Stache post about Bobby Bonilla into a series: The Sad Stache series, where we highlight low-points in Metstache history. So here goes.
Ever hear Tommy Lasorda’s expletive-filled rant that goes on and on and on about his “opinion” of a certain player’s performance? The certain player that he discusses, in response to a quickly-humbled reporter’s question had crushed three home run’s in that night’s game, sending the Dodgers to a 10-7 loss. That certain player was none other than the former Met lunatic, Dave Kingman. Famously waspish, but more importantly whiskered, Dave was a towering slugger who spent two separate stints with the Mets: one from 1975 to 1977, and the other from 1981 to 1983. Read more »
TWS Detroit Bureau Chief Misopogon is back with another dispatch from America’s burningest city. This time around, he looks at the 1984 Detroit Tigers and their mustaches. Can the kittens maul the Amazins? Will the presence of HoJo on both rosters cause the space-time continuum to implode? Is the devise of asking myself questions being overused? Anyhoo, Misopogon gives us the longest and most meticulously cited in this blog’s short history.
So the ‘82 Brew Crewwent down to the might of the Metstache, but if there’s one team that could compete with the ‘86 Amazins, it’s the stachiest of the stachiest, the team that put the zap in Zappa, the “Bless You Boys,” your 1984 Detroit Tigers.
Let’s see how they stache up after the jump. Read more »
Welcome to another episode of 1986 Mets: A Year to Remember theater. If you’re just joining us, we’ve rocked out with Wild Boys Lenny Dykstra and Wally Backman and learned to give a hot foot with Roger McDowell and HoJo. In today’s episode, we celebrate the machismo, determination and bromance of Keith Hernandez and Gary Carter.
Like a rock, Keith and Gary were the stable leaders the Mets needed. And like a rock, their man-love could not be broken.
With a special appearance by Davey Johnson’s mustache!
Happy Friday, kids. Let’s make it a stachetastic end to the week.
If Ollie sees his shadow, he'll have an ERA over 6.00.
This all looks so familiar. After last night’s stark reminder that all bullpens, even rebuilt ones, can struggle, today gave us a friendly reminder that Oliver Perez is the most confounding thing to come out of Mexico since Carlos Mencia’s successful career. Ollie started strong, but the wheels came off in the third inning and the rest of the car spontaneously combusted in the fifth. His final line: 4.1 IP (ugh), 5 H (eh), 8 R (ruhroh), 5 BB (blargh) and 7 K (huzzah!). And with that, the Mets were downed by the Red 8-6.
Once again, the heart of the order looked strong as the Carloses continued to be RBI machines. David Wright had his first multi-hit game of 2009 and picked up an impressive fourth walk of the season. And Ryan Church continued to show what he’s capable of when he’s not overly concussed by adding two hits, including a two RBI double.
The bullpen pitched 3.2 scoreless innings, so that’s a plus. Brian Stokes looked strong with three strikeouts in two innings of work. Meanwhile, Gary Sheffield had his first AB as a Met. He struck out looking in the ninth. For the record, he has a beard.
The Amazins head to Florida for three against the suddenly potent Marlins and we head to the bar for some Thursday night drunkiness without the guilt of missing a Mets game.
Today, we take an educational turn as Roger McDowell and a young (yet balding and mustachioed) Howard Johnson teach us how to give our teammates a hot foot. Don’t know what a hot foot is? Well, grab a cigarette, a book of matches, some bubblegum and get ready to be the funniest guy in your office. And, after watching the video, this blog will make more sense.
Enjoy Roger’s culturally sensitive comic stylings, HoJo’s unbridled enthusiasm and other amazingness.
Well, that was exciting. Mike Pelfrey looked shaky, then settled down. The bats looked lively and the heart of the order showed potency that lasted longer than four hours (they should consult their physician) and the bullpen was just good enough to hang on for the 9-7 win over the Cincinnati Reds.
The Carloses went 4 for 9 with four runs scored, six RBI and one HR by the bald one. As for our non-mustached third baseman, he went 1 for 4 with three runs scored and a walk. His one hit came in the 7th inning when he appeared to be sporting some late evening stubble, once again supporting our theory that David performs better when he has some facial hair to keep him warm during this chilly Spring games.
It wasn’t the prettiest win but this isn’t a beauty contest. Which is a plus, because Ramon Castro has no business putting on an evening gown.
Minor League Baseball is always more in touch with the fans. They understand that baseball is a game and that it’s played for our enjoyment. Minor League Baseball is about passion, love for the game and reminds us of simpler times. And Minor League Baseball is willing to acknowledge the stache.
TWS Detroit Bureau Chief Misopogon checks in with this tidbit about MiLB’s favorite Minor’s mustache fan poll. As it turns out, some of the youngins out there are growing staches, embracing the lifestyle and showing the world that it’s awesome to have a mustache.
Granted, this news is from last season, but hey, that’s OK. What’s matters is that staches are developing themselves in the minors. Honing their game. Working out the kinks and learning to become Major League mustaches. That means that we’ll soon have some well-seasoned, mature mustaches in the Bigs.
I’m not suggesting that David be sent down to Buffalo to work on his mustache. I’m just saying that the coaches in Binghamton and Norfolk failed him (I’m looking at you, John Stearns and Ken Oberkfell).
Keeping reaching for the stars, Minor League staches! You’ll get your cup of coffee soon.
The Wright Stache recently received a copy of 1986 Mets: A Year to Remember from our dear friend Nerdzah Ball Soup at Nerd Baseball. He converted the VHS to DVD and, well, I could not be happier. After a proper viewing last night, I began the task of slicing it up into segments. I’ll be sharing some gems with you in the coming days and weeks, but one clip deserved to be first.
Ladies and gentlemen, with the help of Duran Duran, I give you a profile of the gritty play of Wally Backman and Lenny Dykstra in a segment that Sports Channel and Rainbow Home Video call “Wild Boys.”
Thanks to TheWrightStache reader Christina L. for sending in this link on Manolith, an article which takes a look at what a man’s mustache says about his profession. Among the various mustache/profession pairings such as “Dictator” (Mugabe, Hitler) and “Painter” (Dali) is the baseball player stache, featuring a picture (right) of Randy Johnson’s trash-stache of the ’90s. The article points out that most baseball players who rock the stache are pitchers, an interesting point I’d missed. Let’s make D-Wright an exception the rule — a position player with a classy, dignified mustache!
Ah, Wikipedia. I was hanging out with friend o’ the stache and frequent commenter The Other DAW and Mrs. Other DAW this evening. As often happens, the conversation turned to Keith Hernandez. Some wild accusations were made which I will not dignify with mentions in this here blog of record. All that matters is that we ended up on the Wikipedia page of our patron saint.
While there, we stumbled on an interesting fun fact (Fun fact: I love fun facts). In the miscellany section, you’ll find this:
Hernandez admitted that he never wore eyeblack while playing because he had high cheekbones. Hernandez felt his mustache reduced glare thereby eliminating the need for eyeblack.
The source cited is the Athlon Sports 2008 Baseball Annual. Now, you can’t argue that Keith doesn’t have high cheekbones. He has rugged features and his cheekbones are part of that macho handsomeness. What’s worth considering, however, is his theory that mustaches reduce glare.
If that’s the case (and I have no reason to doubt Keith even if the photo above proves either him or Athlon Sports to be a liar), then David needs to grow a stache to handle the sun. There’s a long, bright summer ahead and the winds in Flushing make things adventurous enough on pop-ups without having to battle the glare.
Grow a stache, David. Keith was an amazing fielder (11 straight Gold Gloves from 1978 to 1988). If the stache helped him, it can help you.
It’s time once again to focus on irrefutable reasons why David Wright should grow a mustache. This time around, we focus on music. It’s a scientific fact that we are all shaped by the song that is #1 on the Billboard charts on the day we’re born. How else would you explain my awesomeness if not for this? So, naturally, I was not the least bit surprised to learn that the #1 song in America on December 20, 1982 was none other than “Maneater” by Hall & Oates.
“LadyStache,” friend and ardent supporter of TheWrightStache, sent in this compelling piece from Mustache Monday showing the clear link between mustaches and athleticism.
Marathon Monday is a glorious day for Boston residents. It is a day that people have off from work to get the drunken pleasure of watching other people run 26 miles. This makes total sense. What makes a day more delightful? Mustaches. What adds fun to sports? Mustaches. What makes you run faster and makes you more agile? If we know nothing else, we know this.
Mustache Monday has also done extensive research and has come up with a graph that shows mustache acceptance rates over the years. Just like the mustache and acid-friendly times of the 1970’s, we are at another crossroads where mustaches can once again be considered a beautiful addition to the face of a man. I can think of one particular fellow for whom a mustache would not only enhance his good looks, but would also provide the speed and dexterity that every athlete desires.
Touche, LadyStache. Also of note, the Germans and Australians both have the U.S. beat across the board in terms of mustache acceptance. We need to change this, and we need David Wright to bring back the glory of the stache to the barren American face. Not to mention, it may help him avoid future baserunning foibles.
Willing always looked to the horizon. Waiting...waiting...
It’s a slow news day. Only one game in the books. No game today. No movement on the hairs of David Wright’s lip. So, I thought I’d throw a classic stache out there into the ether for you all to enjoy. Courtesy of our good friends at Nerd Baseball, we’re honored to shine a spotlight on Willie Hernández.
Willie won the Cy Young and MVP in 1984 after going 9-3 with 32 saves, a 1.92 ERA and 112 K in 140 IP. He also picked up a World Series ring. Not a bad year for a mustache!
I wish I had more to say. Hairy Backman is on the beach in the Caribbean and JCP is shaking off jetlag after catching a flight back from San Diego where he was scouting West Coast staches at Petco.
Back to action tomorrow agains the Reds. I promise we’ll be more interesting.
Kevin McReynolds was actually a 12-year-old boy trapped in a man's body.
We’re pleased to feature one of the unsung heroes of the 1988 National League East Champion New York Mets today. While all eyes were on Doc, Straw, Keith and the rest of the big names, us real fans in the upper deck of Shea knew that our secret weapon was waiting patiently in left field. Waiting for a chance to shine. Waiting…for his mustache to get wispier. Today, we profile Kevin McReynolds.
After the 1986 championship season, the Mets traded Kevin Mitchell (along with Stan Jefferson and Shawn Abner) to the San Diego Padres in exchange for McReynolds and some dead weight. McReynolds was viewed as significantly less batshit crazy than Mitchell, who many considered to be a bad influence on Doc and Straw. McReynolds was a country boy from Arkansas who was never accused of killing his girlfriend’s cat. So, in that respect, he was an upgrade in left field.Read more »
Many predict that Michelle could be a .300 hitter with decent power.
Yesterday, I astutely observed that Johan Santana has personalized handshakes with many of his Mets teammates. Well, the kind folks at Deadspin have blessed us with video of the choreographed greetings. Personally, we’re happy to see Johan playing Patty Cake with his brothers in arms. After he lost a solid five or so wins last year because of the bullpen, it’s just good news that he doesn’t hate his teammates.
Meanwhile, Johan looked solid yesterday coming off elbow surgery. He pitched 5+ solid innings considering the cold weather and looked dominant at times.
Off-day today, so we’ll try to create news for you.
If you're a student of the game or just interested in baseball history, you may have considered testing
your knowledge through online sports betting. Ask yourself,
what would Ty Cobb do?
Mustache Monday, Updates | Hairy Backman | 
April 13, 2009 | 
Comments (1) 
Sometimes a photo catches a person in a time of deep introspection. A moment of reflection. A instance of calm. And other times it’s just a picture of a dude thinking about rape allegations and throwing firecrackers at kids. You take the good, you take the bad and, well, what was the good again? Oh, right, this week at The Wright Stache was the good stuff. What was so good about it, you rudely ask? Well, we:
TWS Detroit Bureau Chief Misopogon is back with another dispatch from America’s burningest city. This time around, he looks at the 1984 Detroit Tigers and their mustaches. Can the kittens maul the Amazins? Will the presence of HoJo on both rosters cause the space-time continuum to implode? Is the devise of asking myself questions being overused? Anyhoo, Misopogon gives us the longest and most meticulously cited in this blog’s short history.
