Mustachioed Ankiel As Effective As Pitcher Ankiel
by Teufel Stubble | April 22nd, 2009
You should see the mustache try to pitch.
Failed pitcher, occasional slugger and current horrendous batter Rick Ankiel has himself a mustache. While watching the first game of the Mets-Cardinals series, I couldn’t help but notice that Dick Ankiel had something on his upper lip. I had a hard time making out what it was while he was striking out, but as he coasted into second base while Daniel Murphy missed his 75th cutoff man of the season I saw it bushy and clear.
As we’ve said before, a man does not choose his facial hair. His facial hair chooses him. Clearly, the mustache did not choose Rick Ankiel. A career .262 hitter entering the 2009 campaign, the former pitcher (if you can call what he did pitching) was hitting .190 entering last night’s action (he’s up to .227 now). If he was hoping that the mustache would be a slump-buster, he was sorely mistaken*.
When will people learn that the mustache is not some lucky charm like a rabbit’s foot or horseshoe. It’s not a matter of choice. It’s something deeper than that. Something existential. Something that Rick Ankiel doesn’t deserve.
* Last night’s hit barrage notwithstanding – his OBP is still only .306.
Tags: mustache, Rick Ankiel
News | Teufel Stubble | 
April 22, 2009
