Sad Stache
by Teufel Stubble | April 1st, 2009
The artist truly captured Bobby's "Suck Period."
April Fools’ Day seems like the right time to address a sad chapter in Metstache history (seeing as we’ve been acting a little cheeky today). A Metstache we wish we hadn’t better known. A stache who, like Grover Cleveland, served two non-consecutive terms. Ladies, gentlemen and mustaches, let’s talk about Bobby Bonilla.
Bobby signed with the Mets in December of 1992 for a then whopping 5 years and $29 million dollars. He was to be the centerpiece of the Mets resurgence after seeing their 1980s glory days fade away like so many acid washed denim jackets. Mets fans were filled with optimism as a new decade of success seemed to be on the horizon. Little did we know that Bobby (and his stache) would prove to be the exception to the stache rule.
Bobby sucked. A lot. He batted .249 in his first season with the Mets. He was booed mercifully during his three and a half seasons with the Metropolitans. He wore earplugs to drown out the jeers. His strikeout totals increased every year, peaking at 101 in 1994. The only thing that increased at a more alarming rate was his weight.
Bobby Bo was shipped to Baltimore for Alex “All Potential, No Performance” Ochoa and Damon Buford in 1995. His combined stats that year actually made him look like a professional ballplayer. He’d play for the Orioles, Marlins and Dodgers before inexplicably making his way back to Flushing in 1999 in exchange for the one and only Mel Rojas.
That season, he butted heads with Bobby V. from the get-go and reminded us all why his Metstache was on we wish never would have grown. He batted .160 with a .303 SLG% that year and finished the season in the clubhouse during Game 6 of the NLCS against the Braves playing cards against Rickey Henderson. One can only assume that he lost that game. Badly.
So, on this day of jokes, whimsy and trickery, let us point and laugh at a stache that never should have been. HAHA, Bobby Bo. HAHA, indeed.
Tags: Bobby Bonilla, bobby valentine, Sad Stache
Updates, Videostache | Teufel Stubble | 
April 1, 2009
