Tonight, finally, David Wright will start at third base in a Grapefruit League game for the Amazins. When the Mets take the field against the Nationals, David will be at the hot corner, Johan will be on the mound and the Mets will begin to resemble the team that we’ll be watching march to a championship in 2009.
Murph and Church are getting the night off since they have played more Spring ball than any other Mets. Tatis and Kielty will man the corner outfield spots, but otherwise the lineup will finally look normal. No more toddlers pretending to play with the big boys, no more guys with abnormally high uniform numbers making us yawn as we attempt to watch exhibition games through till he ninth inning.
Opening Day is on the horizon. David is back. It’s time to stache up in earnest, people. In many ways, the season starts today.
If you just turned to stone, Todd Jones apologizes.
Todd Jones. Devout Christian. Above average Major League pitcher. Epic mustache. Jones sported a Fu Manchu during his playing days. A bold choice. In the schoolyard of mustaches, the Fu Manchu is the bully whose dad left when he was six months old and now he has anger-management issues. It says, “I could kill you just by looking at you, so you best be on your way.” So, you can imagine how thrilled we were when epic reader contributor Seth F. shared this year-old column by Todd Jones with us.
Jones noted,
I thought I was mean-looking, so I rocked it. To be honest, when I was learning how to be a closer, I thought I needed something to make me look the part.
I remembered the looks of Goose Gossage and the Mad Hungarian, Al Hrabosky. Then I met Rod Beck — God rest his soul — and I was in. I’ve gone about three weeks in my entire career without my once slightly crooked and now-graying mustache. I guess it’s me.
I guess it is you, Todd. Jones touches on a subject near and dear to The Wright Stache. The concept that no man chooses his facial hair. No, your facial hair chooses you. The mustache has chosen David Wright. He must heed its call.
It’s worth noting, however, that The Wright Stache and Mr. Jones disagree on the validity of that Giambi situation.
Thanks for helping us put it into words, Todd. Hope retirement is treating you well and that your stache remains ever vigilant against Satan.
Whoever can explain this photo to us wins a prize. Seriously.
We’re bruised. We’re bloodied. We’re broken. We’re really sick of arguing. So we’re going to end the poll once and for all. At exactly 2pm today, the poll booths are being folded up and the gymnasium doors locked – so vote while you can. We’ve had a decent turnout so far and we’re pretty sure we know who’s going to win, but we’re still waiting for a few of the red states to report – turns out HoJo might have a chance after all.
So pick ‘em while they’re hot, and check back later today to see which Metstache gets the gold ribbon.
You wouldn’t think that The Wright Stache and American Idol would ever cross paths. I mean, if it was Mustache Idol, we’d get on board. But, last night the worlds of The Wright Stache and American Idol briefly intersected orbits.
Fantastic friend o’ the stache, Dan Weiss, gave us the heads up that apparently this Simon Cowell fella drew a mustache on that drunk lady. I’m still confused as to why MC Skat Kat wasn’t there, but I guess I’m just out of the loop.
Anyways, it’s been another delightful day in The Wright Stache neighborhood. Tomorrow’s Friday, so we’ll be here to get you through the last day of your work week. Do join us.
Charles Bronson starred briefly for the 1986 Mets.
MetsBlog is reporting that SNY has announced that Bobby Ojeda will be joining the studio crew as lead analyst for both pre- and post-game shows. Why is this important to The Wright Stache? Bobby O. happens to be my favorite Metstache of all-time!
You’ll learn more about my infatuation with Bobby Ojeda’s stache in a future installment of Better Know a Metstache. I want to do it justice by taking the time to craft the masterpiece that it deserves. Just know that I always heterosexually swoon when I see a picture of a mustachioed Bobby O. He just looks so distinguished – like a more athletic Clark Gable. Also know that it is totally, 100% possible to heterosexually swoon.
Welcome to the team, Bobby. Your icy stare is sure to have us captivated and will hopefully distract us from Darryl Strawberry’s complete inability to utter a coherent sentence.
John enjoyed the fact that his mustache and eyebrows were interchangeable.
What is a save? You may think that it’s when a pitcher finishes the game for the winning team and enters the game with a lead of no more than three runs and pitches at least one inning, enters the game with the potential tying run on base, at bat or on deck or pitches for at least three innings. Here at The Wright Stache, we view a save as someone who joins a team and brings with him hometown pride, respectability and a sweet stache. As such, there was no one better at the save in Mets history than one John Franco.
John joined the Mets for the 1990 season after being acquired from the Cincinnati Reds. John brought a Brooklyn attitude to the Mets (he’s from Bensonhurst) and had no problems pitching in Queens (he threw two no-hitters while playing for St. John’s). The son of a Department of Sanitation worker, John was a hard-working, no-nonsense workhouse out of the bullpen.
14 years after joining the Mets, he left us having compiled an amazing resumé: team captain, a team record 276 saves and a mustache that served as a beacon of hope during even the dreariest mid-90s Mets seasons. After one partial season with the Houston Astros that we refuse to acknlowledge, John retired from baseball with 424 saves, the fourth most in MLB history, the most by any left-handed pitcher and the second-most by a pitcher with a mustache (trailing only Lee Smith).
John Franco was a leader, an inspiration and a hairy, hairy man. He would often sport an 11am shadow. But he knew how to rock a stache. And you don’t need to shave when you know how to save.
Mets fans are going to be so upset when they read my jersey!
Last night, I received a telephone call from two friends of mine that are big Phillies fans. Naturally, I usually can’t talk baseball with these guys without goin’ to the fisticuffs. “World Champions” this, “Mets Suck” that. You know how it is: eternally resentful towards the Mets even though they just won the series.
But last night was different. Tom Keely and Rod Sliver (who’s names have been changed to protect their identities) instead called to tell me that they would be jumping ship if and when David grew the stache. Yep – two die hard Philles fans agreed to root for the Mets if and when our follicle folley becomes a reality.
And we think that’s fantastic. In fact, we don’t doubt that there are many other fans out there, ready and willing to make a power-move to Flushing when the stache-year rings in. Here are the top 5 teams you should consider abandoning to become a Mets fan when David grows the mustache: Read more »
"The oral sex from a clean-shaven man just isn't the same."
Any would-be facial hair enthusiast knows it all too well: girls do not often dig beards and staches. Back in my halcyon days of having a giant, bushy, hassid beard, I always used to get random dudes coming up to me telling me they loved my beard. I’d tell them that they too should grow one, and the answer I’d always get back was “My wife/girlfriend won’t let me.”
What’s that all about!? Seriously; grow a set. If your wife divorces you because of your man-whiskers, what kind of life are you living, my friend? But it raises a valid concern; what if D-Wright girlfriend / super-hot vixen Molly Beers doesn’t dig the stache? To that end, we here at The Wright Stache headquarters have come up with a handy list of reasons D-Wright can use to convince Ms. Beers of the merits of the stache. Read the list after the jump.
Lest you think that you are alone in supporting The Wright Stache, I am here to assure you that you are in enthusiastic stache company. There are others like you. Believers who understand the whimsical powers of the mustache. I present to you Eddie L. and his unnamed platonic costume partner who dressed up as HoJo and Keith for Halloween. But their stache support goes far deeper than some simple alcohol-fueled shenanigans. Eddie wrote,
My friend and I have been growing moustaches for Halloween for the past few years and after the mets FIRST collapse we decided to summon the powers of yester year and go as Keith and Hojo. We got the full 1986 uniform and real staches to match.
Our idea is that whenever the mets make the post-season again we will go to the game in our 1986 gear with full on real moustaches.
Now that’s some mustache magic that I can relate to. And with support like this, you can bet that the next postseason the Mets see will be in 2009! Check out some “behind-the-scenes” action from Eddie’s costumed hijinx after the jump. Read more »
The lapels are made of earlier Hernandez mustaches.
We’re a day late on this, but what an amazin’ piece on Always Amazin’ by Matthew Artus yesterday. He offers a convincing argument for our patron saint (and his killer stache) to be in the Hall of Fame. The logic centers around the Wins Above Replacement (WAR) statistic and complicated graphs. Matthew can explain it much better than I can.
Essentially, WAR attempts to quantify a player’s value over that of an “average” player. A positive WAR means that you’re an improvement over the average. A negative WAR means you’re dead weight.
Matthew goes on to show that Keith’s WAR numbers are better than Hall of Famers Tony Perez and Orlando Cepeda. The graphs are quite lovely and essentially we learn that Keith should be in the Hall of Fame where his bronze mustache can be viewed for centuries.
Now, if only we could get a Wins Above Replacement Mustache statistic. It’s WARM!
I do declare, I love tasting the herbs and spices in my whiskers.
In this installment of Wright Wreasons, we look to David’s roots for proof that he needs to grow a mustache. David is from Norfolk, Virginia and is, thus, from south of the Mason-Dixon Line. As such, David is a Southerner. And throughout history, true Southern gentlemen who achieved great levels of success were mustachioed.
This is in your genes, David. It’s your birthright to grow a mustache and take a hold of your destiny. Embrace your heritage and success will course through your veins like Sherman stormed through Atlanta. OK, maybe that was a bad analogy for Southerners.
I can see the skepticism on your faces. Well, I came prepared. I’ve done the research. I have the facts. Let’s take a look at some great Southern mustaches and the achievements in their respective fields.
Looking for more proof that David’s got a stache in him somewhere? Then look no further than this post published by Chicago Mets Fan earlier today. Its a photo of David standing next to his signature “The Wright Flight” plane, replete with a pencil-thin lip buzz and all.
Wipe your feet, heathens, and then make yourselves at home.
It’s been a busy week for us here at The Wright Stache. We’d like to welcome those of you joining us via Deadspin, With Leather, MetsBlog, Bill Simmons’ BS Report and, of course, your local NBC.com affiliate. We’re happy to have you and would love for you to stick around for a bit. Take a tour. Get comfortable. You’re amongst friends here.
Let me give you the lay of the land. Here’s what you need to know:
And, of course, scroll through our older posts to catch up on what you’ve missed.
Come and visit us often. Without you, we’re just weird dudes who want David Wright to grow a mustache. With you, we’re a movement. Support the cause. Make The Wright Stache a part of your daily routine.
OK everyone, you can all exhale now. C’mon, let it out – it’s going to be alright! According to Matthew Cerrone from MetsBlog, David’s toe is indeed a happy one – and he’s totally fine. Says David:
Notice woman crossing arms in the background - that's David's girl. She's still mortified by the sight of the toenail.
“I knew it was nothing serious at the time… If I would have thought something was seriously wrong, I wouldn’t have been out there.”
As we reported in a previous post, Mets fans had a bit of a scare when they learned that David had fouled a ball off of his left foot during a WBC game against Venezuela. Thankfully, everything seems to be just fine.
Our sympathies go out to Tatis, Valentin, Campbell, and whoever else has been having fun filling D-Stache’s shoes in his absence. The fun ends here. It’s back to the bench for you guys – Big man’s back in town. And soon enough, with a big ‘ol lip beard to go along with all that swagger. You dig?
For weeks, David Wright and Jimmy Rollins were teammates. They were partners on the left side of the Team USA infield. They worked together, ate together and showered together. But the WBC is over. The détente has expired. According to Adam Rubin, Wright’s parting words to Rollins as they rejoined their teams were, “It’s on again.” Obviously, he’s hired Michael Bay to write all of his copy. I, for one, support this 100%.
The Mets and Phillies are just a couple of weeks away from renewing their rivalry. Sure, the Marlins and Braves think that they can contend in the NL East and we think that’s adorable. And the Nationals? Didn’t they move back to Montreal to begin touring as the opponent of the Harlem Globetrotters? It’s the Mets and the Phillies. It’s David Wright and Jimmy Rollins. There’s a new cold war and we’re at DEFCON 1.
The Wright Stache is thrilled that David has thrown down the gauntlet and is already posturing. But David, if you’re going to sound like an action movie star, don’t you think that you should start looking like one?
Here at The Wright Stache, we like us some good old fashioned debatin’. And not the kind that ends in hand shakes – the kind that ends in fist fights. So when we all sat down and tried to plead our cases for our favorite Metstaches of all time, things got ugly. Names were called. Fingers were pointed. Mets memorabilia was shattered. Broken glass was….well, everywhere. So we figure the only way this is ever going to get settled is if we get our readers’ opinions. So, here goes:
"I will kidnap your daughters and do dirty things to them." Creepy.
Ah, good old Bobby Valentine, possibly the biggest lightning rod the Mets ever had as manager, this side of Art Howe. OK, so I’m kidding about Art Howe.
But seriously, Bobby V. was a helluva dude. For all his foibles and follies — and for the love of god, there were many dispicable traits and questionable decisions made by the man — he was quite possibly the biggest character the Mets had as manager since the days of Casey Stengel. I mean, I hated the guy, but he was entertaining to say the least; he got in the face of umpires, kicked dirt, argued, handled the press in the worst way possible, pissed off his players… you know, a true New York manager of a bygone era.
Any New York Mets fan over the age of 10 will remember the day in June 1999 where he did pretty much all of the above. Ejected in the 12th inning for arguing with the home plate umpire, Bobby V went down to the clubhouse and re-emerged minutes later donning a clubouse t-shirt, cap, and fake mustache and glasses. Umpires quickly caught on to his sham act, and he was summarily booted (again), fined $5,000 and suspended for 2 games. “I did it to lighten up the team,” he said.
Lighten it up you did, Bobby V. Davey W., won’t you do the same? Though fake, that’s a great lookin’ stache, and we know Mr. Wright’s — if only he’d grow one — would lead the team to the championship that eluded Bobby V. for so many years.
David Wright has rejoined the Mets for Grapefruit League action after his WBC heroics and disappointing semifinal loss. Now he gets back to the task at hand: Growing a mustache so that the Mets can win the 2009 World Series. While he’s back with the team, he’ll be sitting out today’s friendly against the ghastly Astros in Kissimmee.
David Lennon speculates that Jerry Manuel will probably rest David until Friday to let him catch his breath and stay off his bum toe. But come Friday, it’ll be all David all the time. Except for when the Mets have an off day. Or when Jerry gives David a rest. But the rest of the time…
Fernando Tatis will play third today and star prospect Reese Havens will make his Grapefruit Leage debut when he starts at SS.
Jose thanks heaven everyday for his sweet chin whiskers.
Did you know that David Wright drove in José Reyes 42 times last year? Did you know that that is the second highest figure for a pair of teammates in the last six years? Neil Best knows it. And did you know that the highest figure for teammates in the last six years is 49 by Gary Sheffield and Rafael Furcal in 2003 while playing for the hated Atlanta Braves? That cannot stand. David and José need to destroy that record. They need to be better hairmates.
You see, José knows the power of facial hair. The mustache isn’t his thing, though. We here at The Wright Stache firmly believe that you do not select your facial hair. Your facial hair selects you.
And José is a chin hair guy. That’s the way it was meant to be. And David is a mustache guy. We know this. And once he accept it, José’s chin pubes whiskers and David’s stache will be the most productive teammates in baseball history.
Don’t believe that facial hair is the key to teammate run production? Take a look at Sheffield and Furcal in that 2003 season.
Follow José’s lead, David. The mustache has chosen you. Answer the call.
If you're a student of the game or just interested in baseball history, you may have considered testing
your knowledge through online sports betting. Ask yourself,
what would Ty Cobb do?
News | Teufel Stubble | 
March 27, 2009 | 
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