Stache-Off: 1982 Brewers vs. 1986 Mets

by Teufel Stubble | March 30th, 2009

Sorry, but children's medium has sold-out.

We love a good challenge and nothing gets us chomping at the bit more than someone challenging us to a good old-fashioned stache-off. You see, we’ll stack the 1986 Mets and their staches up against any team from any era. Why? Because we’re confident that Metstaches are the best staches. So, you can imagine our giddiness when we received the picture to the right along with the note below from Matt Brukman. We welcome your challange, Matt, and apologize that you will have to walk away with your stache between your legs.

First, let’s look at Matt’s opening salvo:

The Mets are amateurs. See the attached t-shirt graphic for the true masters of hirsute baseball goodness.

The battle (and a larger version of the photo) after the jump.

Mustache Total: I count nine valid Brewstaches. The 1986 Mets had 11.
Winner – Mets

Weird Vertical Hair Stripes: What the hell is that facial hair design for Don Sutton? No Met would be caught dead with that abortion on his face.
Winner – Mets

Regular Season Record: The 1982 Brewers were 95-67. The 1986 Mets were 108-54.
Winner – Mets

Playoff Results: The 1982 Brewers lost in the World Series to the St. Louis Cardinals. The 1986 Mets won the World Series over the Boston Red Sox.
Winner – Mets

Keith Hernandez Factor: The 1982 Brewers lost to Keith and his stache in the World Series. The 1986 Mets rode Keith’s stache to the World Championship.
Winner – Mets

Total: Mets 5, Brewers 0

A thorough and complete drubbing by the Amazins! And as for Paul “Molly” Molitor’s contribution to the Brew Crew, well, we’re confident that the 1986 Mets dominated in that category as well.

And here’s a larger version of Matt’s photo for your viewing pleasure:

Tags: 1982, 1986, brewers, Keith Hernandez, Mets, Stache-Off

Trash Talk | Teufel Stubble | March 30, 2009

15 Comments

By SiMo, March 30, 2009 @ 3:38 pm

You might have forgotten a crucial piece of the brewers mustache puzzle… Bernie Brewer’s stache clearly takes Mr. Met .. therefor i give at least 1 point to the crew…

[Reply]
By Teufel Stubble:
March 30th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I’ll say this, Bernie Brewer sliding into a beer was classic. At the end of the day, the true winners are all of us for getting to enjoy such amazing mustaches. And the Mets. They’re the winners, too.

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By Matt, March 30, 2009 @ 4:18 pm

More like <a href=”http://media2.620wtmj.com/wmn/82staches.bmp” 16 valid mustaches.

[Reply]
By Matt, March 30, 2009 @ 4:20 pm

Wow. Epic fail on the math and the html. 12 staches. Oops.

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By Teufel Stubble:
March 30th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
12 staches? A beard is not a mustache. Two vertical stripes of hair are not a mustache. A line of coke is not a mustache.

That said, thanks for the follow-up photo with proof of more staches. Perhaps you do win the mustache category. Shame that Keith’s was too powerful for you in the World Series.

[Reply]
By Josh, March 30, 2009 @ 9:40 pm

I don’t care how many staches either team has…except the Crew has more. So your whole post doesn’t make any sense. Sure Hernandez was on the teams that won the series but what has that done for him?? Got him into a bunch of just for men hair coloring and for being sexist. He’s great, I just wouldn’t want him as my favorite player. Even though the cards won the series who was the NL MVP?? that’s right Rockin’ Robin!! Hernandez was 17th!!!!! My real point was that the Cards won as a team…not b/c of Hernandez!!!

[Reply]
By Teufel Stubble:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
MISSING:

Josh’s sense of humor. If found, please call Milwaukee.

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By JG:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Josh, I bet you shave your upper lip. Enough said.

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By Brian, March 31, 2009 @ 2:40 pm

Can you count Rollie’s mustache as worth two points, because that is probably the single most amazing mustache ever. I can only hope to approach that phenomenal level of facial hair.

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By Teufel Stubble:
March 31st, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Brian, I’ll give respect when it’s due. Rollie’s stache was phenomenal. The best part was that it maintained it’s gorgeousness throughout the game.

[Reply]
By Kevin, April 4, 2009 @ 1:34 pm

The 1982 World Series between the Cards and Brewers was known as the “Suds Series.” But let’s be realistic, the Mets had far more alcoholics then either club

(i.e. Gooden, Backman, Strawberry, Dykstra, etc…)

As Strawberry says “We hauled around more Bud than the Clydesdales.”

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By LaForest, April 11, 2009 @ 3:40 pm

I need the brewers Shirt so bad. Please send me a link to where I can buy this

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By bwhite, November 13, 2009 @ 12:21 pm

Can someone please also send me the link to buy that tshirt for the 82 brewer’s staches

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By Michael Clair, December 7, 2010 @ 1:20 am

That Brewers mustache shirt is absolutely amazing. Should be put up in the Smithsonian.

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