Welcome to our new feature, Wright Wreasons. From time to time, we’ll use these posts to illustrate convincing reasons why it just makes sense for David Wright to grow a mustache. We can give you our opinions until we are Mets blue in the face, but these Wright Reasons make for a much stronger argument. Today’s Wright Wreason: High-rated TV mustaches of David Wright’s birth year, 1982.
David is a product of the 1980s, a TV-centric decade. All of us from the late 1970s and 1980s generations are reflections of the television shows from that era. Take me, for example. My father built me a robot sister and adopted several black children to live in our penthouse apartment while I was a teen-aged doctor.
So, let’s take a look at the top five Nielsen rated shows of the 1982/1983 television season and the mustaches that made them successful.
1. 60 Minutes – Arguably the most respected news magazine show in the history of the television medium. And who was the host in 1982? None other than Ed Bradley. And what did the late Mr. Bradley look like back in the day? Take a gander at this gorgeousness:
2. Dallas – Dallas sucked.
3. M*A*S*H – Quite possibly the most popular television show ever. For years, its finale was the highest rated program of all time. And one of the most beloved characters was Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. First things first. How awesome of a name is B.J. Hunnicutt? Seriously. I’d kill for that name. Now, for the important business. Feast your eyes on the lip bush of Capt. Hunnicutt:
4. Magnum, P.I. – Do I even need to explain why this enhances the strength of this Wright Wreason tenfold? Thomas Magnum! The most epic stache in television history. A stache that you want to take out for a nice dinner, treat to an expensive bottle of wine and then invite back to your place for some heavy petting. Behold, the Magnum mustache:
5. Dynasty - Dynasty sucked.
1982 was a fantastic year for television mustaches and for baseball birthdays. It gave us Ed Bradley, B.J., Magnum and D-Wright. But one of these things is not like the others. One of these things does not have a stache.
Correct that, David. Grow a stache for the Wright Wreasons.