About That Giambi Stache

Some say Giambi set the mustache back 30 years last season.

Well, this needs to be addressed and it needs to be addressed head on.  Jason Giambi had a mustache last year.  No one is denying this.  Nor are we attempting to copy his idea (or the idea of shameless Yankee fans who wore fake mustaches).  Giambi’s stache was a joke, in more ways than one.  We respect the mustache.  And we respect David Wright.  We think they go together.  As for Giambi, all he did was besmirch the good name of the mustache.

Don’t believe me?  In the June 28, 2008 edition of the New York Daily News, Giambi is quoted as saying,

It’s for fun.  Johnny (Damon) and I were joking one day because we were both kind of scuffling. We did it as a joke and over the long haul of the season, you have to find things to break up the monotony of it.

Oh, you needed a mustache to make your job of playing a child’s game for millions of dollars more entertaining?  That makes sense.  The mustache is not some whimsical time filler.  Nor is it a good luck charm to help you do what you should be doing on your own when you earn over $100 million.  Need a good luck charm?  Wear a gold lamé thong if you need luck.  Oh, right, he already did that.  I’ll let the good folks who blog about lamé thongs address that misdeed. A mustache is most certainly not a joke.

Look, there are a lot of mustaches out there.  We know that.  We enjoy that.  We’re mustache afficiandos (note to self: that would make a great magazine title) and we want to see more mustaches achieve their deserved status as accepted members of society.  But mustaches must be grown for true and pure reasons.  You grow a mustache because you are a mustache guy.  You shouldn’t grow a mustache as a joke any more than you should a soul patch or afro.  These things are a reflection of who you are.  And David Wright is an old-school, hard-nosed, tough-as-nails baseball player who needs a mustache.

So, save your diatribes about Giambi’s stache for someone who cares.  Because we sure don’t.  We care about mustaches big and small.  Red and brown.  Curled and bushy.  We love them pure and noble.  This is no joke to us.  Unlike Mr. Giambi, we have integrity.

2 Comments

1. Todd Jones on Baseball Staches | The Wright Stache — March 27, 2009 @ 11:31 am

2. Giambi Says Ladies Love the Stache | The Wright Stache — April 10, 2009 @ 3:56 pm

Leave a comment