The Keith Hernandez Post

Keith's stache can dress for any occasion.

Here at the Wright Stache, we obviously have a keen focus on the future (grow that mustache, David!).  But we also have tremendous reverence for the past and look to history for guidance and inspiration.  And when it comes to Mets mustaches, one stands taller (and bushier) than all others.  I am referring, of course, to the whiskers of the first basemen of the 1986 World Champions – Mr. Keith Hernandez.

At The Wright Stache headquarters, most conversations about who would write the Keith Hernandez post devolved into screaming matches with highball glasses being heaved against the wall, rocks glasses being slammed to the ground and steins tossed at each other’s heads.  Who would have the privilege of writing about the Hernandez stache?  It was finally settled when I went on a three week holiday to New Zealand and Australia.  Since no one could throw a glass far enough to hit me, I made a power play.

But I digress.  The Keith Hernandez mustache is the kind of mustache that you can set your watch to.  It’s full but not overbearing.  Wide but without that porny curve around the mouth.  And, natural or not, it’s as black as night.  The way a mustache should be.

During his playing days, Keith’s mustache was always a beacon of strength during turbulent times.  Feeling tired during the second game of a double-header?  Look at Keith’s stache.  It’s not wilting in the August heat.  Frustrated after an 0-4 night?  You don’t see Keith’s mustache tossing bats.  Keith’s stache always kept it cool.  Many spirits were lifted at the sight Keith’s stache dashing into the dugout after a 5-4-3 double play to get Ronnie out of a jam.  You could credit his stretch to dig the ball out of the dirt.  But from Gary behind home plate to Rick Aguilera in the bullpen, everyone knew that it was the stache that gave him that extra inch to ensure that he scooped up the throw before Von Hayes reached first base.

During his illustrious and mustachioed tenure with the Mets, Keith was a three-time All Star, finished in the top 10 of MVP voting three times and named a Silver Slugger once.  He then spent a portion of one season with the Cleveland Indians which we all blissful pretend never happened.

Even now, the stache remains.  Breaking down swings and criticizing umpires would take a toll on most color commentators.  But not Keith.  He has his stache.  His constant.  Cold September game at Wrigley?  No worries, fans.  Keith has his fur coat and his mustache to make sure that his dulcet tones hit our ears likes snowflakes on a window pane.

So, before we go any further with our campaign to get David Wright to grow a mustache, I implore all of you to look to the past.  Look at Keith.  Maybe you’ve taken his mustache for granted.  Or perhaps you’ve just gotten used to hearing his voice but not seeing his face.  But the mustache is there.  As it always has been.  And always will be.  The mustache of Keith Hernandez.  The greatest mustache in Mets history.

2 Comments

1. Keith Hernandez: Top Sports Mustache of All-Time | The Wright Stache — March 19, 2009 @ 4:27 pm

2. And the winner is… | The Wright Stache — March 27, 2009 @ 3:00 pm

Leave a comment