Proof: Mustaches Win Championships

So what exactly made the 1986 Mets so special? Was it their magical charisma? A lack of ’substance’ in Doc Gooden’s life? A fate-twisting error by Bill Buckner? Of course, those all played their part. But there were other factors as well. The 1986 Mets truly were a thing of amazin’ment. However, under the statistical microscope, the 2008 Mets, a team that will go down in history as one of the most disappointing ever, were better offensively than the 1986 team. Many will blame the 2008 bullpen and pitching in general for the monumental collapse. I blame something else entirely. Take a look:

It's science: Invest in some facial hair and watch your ring collection grow.

Runs
2008 Mets: 799
1986 Mets: 783

Hits
2008 Mets: 1491
1986 Mets: 1462

Doubles
2008 Mets: 274
1986 Mets: 261

Triples
2008 Mets: 38
1986 Mets: 31

Home Runs
2008 Mets: 172
1986 Mets: 148

RBIs
2008 Mets: 751
1986 Mets: 730

Batting Average
2008 Mets: .266
1986 Mets: .263

Slugging
2008 Mets: .420
1986 Mets: .401

As you can see, this past year’s team definitely had some offense – better offense than the 1986 team. They could hit the ball, for sure. But take a look at this lesser known stat, and it gets a little hairy:

Mets with Mustaches
2008 Mets: 3
1986 Mets: 11

Facial hair, folks. There were more 1986 Mustachioed Mets than there were Complete Games by the 2008 pitching staff. The truth is, the 2008 Mets were a lot like your little brother’s fake ID: it looks great on paper, but without a little facial hair, he just can’t seal the deal.

David, it’s up to you. Grow us that mustache and bring home a championship, will ya?

2 Comments

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  By tm2master1, March 23, 2009 @ 3:10 pm

  well you convinced me, how can one argue with evidence like that

  [Reply]

1. Tough As Nails | The Wright Stache — April 23, 2009 @ 6:09 pm

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